I’m trying to explain, but there’s nothing to say
so I let my actions speak louder than words
but my actions disguise
the person inside
and I can’t seem to make myself heard.
Author notes
:/
As I attempt to make repairs for something that happened recently.
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites From December 2007 by amaranthine lover.
800 points, ended January 11, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2007 - everything under 25 lines by leander.
1000 points, ended January 17, 2008, 167 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
any suggestions for this?
Comments
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I can agree with the fact that it's hard to 'talk' things you did and regret good, I'd prefer the handling as well...
Short and maybe a bit simplistic, but nonetheless meaningful poetry.
Leander -
I can relate
If you could find a word other than "say" in first line, one that rhymes with 2nd and 5th line, then it would be in Limerick form. While this one seems good to me, it doesn't quite fit parameters of this contest: Humor, current events, politics and of course in limerick form. Still, well done.
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I feel that this could use more attention to imagery and perhaps add a few more lines with some excellent choices in diction. I think that this would allow the reader to better easily connect with you, the reader, without having to be overwhelmed with language. Thanks for entering
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well penned. i like it. good work, myiuki. -r
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