A kaleidoscope of colors:
Green red chilly conversation,
altered altar sings the green blues,
amber ear to ground, caution’s green.
Green red chilly conversation,
palates spic’d in bitter spoonfuls -
mitigation misstated blinds
deep lusty tea leaves in too steeped.
Altered altar sings the green blues.
Organic high priests orthodox
in overstated sacrifice.
Warm hands wring, a global warning.
Amber ear to ground, caution’s green
as complex DeVerde codes crack.
Colored voices spin singly on -
diligence whirrs in unwashed white.
Author notes
Like so many other French forms, the Retourne is all about repetition.
It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables.
The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line,
the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's
fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme.
A contest entry
- NO GREENS - ROUND 2 - Invitation Only by Pamela A Lamppa.
3000 points, ended January 20, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Paul creates a complicated riddle where artist speak out on green global issues through multiple festivals/commentaries leading these judges on quite the web search to crack the code:
kaleidoscope = a band (? relevance)
red chilly = Red Hot Chilly Peppers
altar = a band (? relevance)
amber ear to ground =
http://blogs.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/an_ear_to_the_ground/
(? Caution's green)
tea leaves = Tea leaf green band
orthodox -= a band
DeVerde = a music and art festival on global warming (translated)
diligence = a fan site for http://www.ray-toro.com/ My Chemical Romance
All this and White is still a mystery.
this was captivating, fun and frustrating. I would feel better if I had cracked the code; but alas, I remain confused after hours of searching and decoding.
thank for the intrigue. (no simile, unless I missed that too. )
Thanks for the entry and the headache, lol.
And I want to know the relevance of the title!
Ken
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LOL
*big smile*
First of all I'm honored that you would spend "...hours of searching and decoding." to try and "crack" the Daverde code.
As poets, I'm sure you know that we walk a fine line between OBVIOUS and obskyooritee
Poetry is similar to a joke in the sense that when I explain, I drain. At the risk of draining, I shall explain sometime today. My poem does have meaning although perhaps only to a select few, but the muse must be heard even in a different language occasionally.
Thank you for your valuable and entirely candid response.
Paul
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First I will give you a general interpretation of the meaning of the poem:
This is basically a protest to the stridence of present day environmentalism
Not everyone holds the majority view, and I am one of those people.
Now, since this is about poetry and I don’t want to get derailed on any political/social dissertation myself, I’ll leave it at that.
First off – the title – Left to White sounds like what? (politically)Left to Right correct? That is the hidden meaning there but it doesn’t stop there. There is also an additional meaning connecting the political left with my “white” metaphor – I’ll explain this later.
A kaleidoscope of colors:
Meaning: Green is a common term for earth friendly or environmentalism. There is more than one view to environmentalism, global warming etc., and it requires a much more broad perspective than the current environmental “bandwagon” ergo a kaleidoscope of views if you will.
Green red chilly conversation,
Meaning: Green here is juxtaposed to a contrasting red –an opposing view. Chilly conversation exemplifies how the casual conversation turns cold (irony) when discussing such a hot-button topic as this. Double meaning: red chili and green chili – both are chili but radically different tastes.
altered altar sings the green blues,
Meaning: Environmentalists worship at the altar of their earth-friendly ideals (again, my view) even though some might consider themselves a-religious, their altar is their cause. They also seem to be “singing the green blues” - the global environmental woe-is-me tune constantly without balance.
amber ear to ground, caution’s green.
Meaning: Yellow, or amber is a color of caution. There is more damage than meets the eye from a knee jerk response to saving the environment.
Green red chilly conversation,
Meaning: (see above)
palates spic’d in bitter spoonfuls –
Meaning: this line refers to and reinforces the previous line, it means bitter arguments.
mitigation misstated blinds
Meaning: Attempts by industry to clean up the negative affects of pollution, for instance, are rarely played up as positives in the press, misstated mitigation. - blinds is a verb for the next line.
deep lusty tea leaves in too steeped.
Meaning: “deep lusty” = strong or robust tea leaves= environmentalists “in too steeped”=play on words, tea is steeped when ready vs “in too steeped” which sounds like in too deep meaning they can’t back down from their arguments/admit they are occasionally wrong as an honest broker of truth.
Altered altar sings the green blues.
Meaning: (see above)
Organic high priests orthodox
in overstated sacrifice.
Meaning: These two lines go together. The enviros elevate both organics and the ravaged state of the earth to a spiritual level. This also reinforces the third line.
Warm hands wring, a global warning.
Meaning: A reference to global warming and wringing of hands about it. “Global warNing” is a play on words
Amber ear to ground, caution’s green
Meaning: (see above)
as complex DeVerde codes crack.
Meaning: A play on the DaVinci Code, DeVerde is meant to look like Spanish, literally translated, “of Green” “crack” has a double meaning as a code cracks vs as inferring a flaw in (DeVerde Code)
Colored voices spin singly on –
Meaning: Now here’s where the word “white” is relevant also in the title. If you know anything about color theory, when you take all the primary and secondary colors and put them in a color wheel and spin it, the result is that color wheel turns white. (try it ;-)
Again, I’m reinforcing the idea that if you get all the information about the environment and you put it together, instead of just the info that supports an agenda, you glean something closer to truth. Spin has also a double meaning as “political spin”
diligence whirrs in unwashed white.
Meaning: It sometimes takes arduous objectivity and diligence to figure out environment issues – solutions don’t fit on bumper stickers. Unwashed white is a metaphor for pure truth.
I think this answers the last question about simile too. The symbol is color(s)
Well, I hope all this didn’t make your eyes glaze over. Sorry for your headache – or was that a metaphor for pain in the south end. Hmmm…ok I’ll stop now.
Paul
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Paul
This is unbelievable uncanny and completely impressive. I have said it before and NOW again, where on earth does your mind go?
The direction and path we headed on got us to similar places with different takes on your clues. Uncanny. Truly uncanny.
THank you for this Paul and for such a wonderful adventure in your Retourne.
~Pamela
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WOW...great form here...
you respected the form and syllable count well and kept your theme executed with stellar precision!
not an easy task...
this must have been a difficult write, sir...
very well done...
good luck in the contest! this will be worthy of jewelery indeed!
Blessings! Tammy
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Ahhh. Yes. I do like how you have re-worked this piece. Nicely done. Your syllable count is spot on this time around.
It is so good to see such dedication to this form and to the learning process. Thank you for taking the time to do so. I do like this title very much as well.
All in all, this piece is well done. Thank you for your entry and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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I love the topic. I love the green. I love the simile.
but - you need a retourne.
8 syllables per line and repetition of the first four lines in each stanza as the specs require.
I will be back to check on this beauty later on.
~Pamela
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Very complex Cowboy...
excellent write...
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