Waning One, and the whole world seemed undone
for the seasons had run their weary ways,
gifts made offer to resurrect the Sun;
Waning One, and the whole world seemed undone.
Charity fails grim ghostly days begun
under dimming sky, bleak and threat'ning grays
Waning One, and the whole world seemed undone;
for the seasons had run their weary ways.
Faith must rise to light the retreating skies
for the needs of life press on winter walls
eternal hope of spring rests, never dies;
Faith must rise to light the retreating skies.
Mankind has found love of nature most wise
turning to warmth after cold darkness falls,
Faith must rise to light the retreating skies;
for the needs of life press on winter walls
Author notes
"One" used as proper pronoun to refer to the personified Sun.
Triolet form: ABaAabAB
Art Credit: "Beginning of...The Day After Tomorrow"
by Thomas Michael Rappers
In a list
A contest entry
- DAY AFTER...THE LONGEST SHADOWS OF WINTER A Solstice Theme with No Greens by Blue Rew & Pamela Lamppa by Blue Rew.
6000 points, ended December 24, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oh my! I see why this won gold! This is a fantastic Triolet. You mastered the decasyllable and you have a wonderful image. Image can be difficult to achieve in the Triolet because of the constant repeating line. You are very good at formal writing.
Love,
Amera♥
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EXCEPTIONAL!!!
My goodness, this is a fabulous poem and a wonderful piece of divine wisdom, deftly woven with great eloquence and grace. Congratulations on winning the gold trophy- you surely deserved it and more with this exquisite piece of pure poetry.
HAVE A MERRY TIME
UNDER THE MISLETOE!!!
D.M.
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Bravo! Standing in Applause
Such a beautifully soft and perfectly executed double triolet in 10 syllable count no less. Much more difficult to keep that pace with this form and you have breezed through it like a hot knife in butter.
Such wonderful wonderful words have touched this prompt with pure poetic perfection. Superb entry and such a pleasure to read and enjoy.
Well done. Absolutely well done. Thank you for this. ~Pamela
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This is absolutely gorgeous! I love how the first stanza paints the darkness and the second brings the hope, the return of life. Loved "for the needs of life press on winter walls" Best of luck in the contest!
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This is a beautiful double triolet. I especially love: "waning One, and the whole world seemed undone"
It was obvious to me you are referring to the Sun.
Wonderful sentiment that brings the theme to life.
A couple of small edits to get the theme & verse right: "eternal hope of spring rests but never dies" has one syllable too many.
There is also a bit of capitalization forgotten as
Waning and For should be capitalized each time these first two lines are repeated. Same thing goes for the second triolets first two lines. "threatning" leaves off a syllable and seems to be deliberately mispelled to save the syllable. If that's the case, you may want to add a ' to denote the missing e. Blue
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For the seasons had their weary ways! Love the last line sums up the entire poem! Only to begin again as the seasons never end. ~Sie
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