I want you this Christmas

What is it about past loves
that makes us so compelled to reestablish that lost love...

Why must my old loves draw me in so completely,
even when I know I'm with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Is doubting the love I have now a good choice?
Because I don't.

Although I miss him,
his teasing sexuality.

My love now is not just someone who I am drawn to,
but he fills something in me that has not been filled for so long.

He lifts me up, and he allows me to be his angel.
He makes me feel beautiful.

He tells me I'm gorgeous, and believes it,
when I wake up in the morning with caked on make up from crying before bed,
my hair sticking at all angles from my head.

No one else makes me feel so utterly complete,
so incredibly happy and full.

Love songs don't explain this feeling anymore.
It's like the spaces in between my fingers were made for his.

He dries my tears, he makes me feel happy and gorgeous.
His love rains down on me even when we are not together.

If I could have one wish, Lord.
It would be that I marry him, and that he is my present this Christmas.