There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance,
But aliens planted hydrogen bombs into volcanoes
And when we die we fly to Venus!
The Honorable Elijah Muhammad
Believed that a scientist created white people
By injecting evil germs
Into good black ones
Before science even existed!
And, get this, it took him six hundred years to do it!
Punchline
Spike the punch
Turn water into wine
Jump the couch
There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance
But Yaqub and Xenu sit on golden thrones
Waiting to judge us
Intelligent design
The compound eye so fine
And those created in His image
Beat and rape their sisters and daughters
This toast is someone's flesh--
Ew!
Flexing glands
Who understands?
Why aren't there any dinosaurs in Genesis?!
You'd think that Adam would have noticed them
There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance
Yet an e-meter
Can tell me when I'm 'clear'
I walk around a meteorite
I drink wine that tastes of blood
I prance about like a mad Barbary ape
With venomous serpents in my hair
I scream, I shout!
I touch the glowing skin of Isis
I guide aircraft into buildings
Thinking I did some good
I dream, put out
Ships hide behind comets
Outstretched solar hands
Bless me, make demands
Start white-smoke fires
Say I cannot follow my desires
But I succumb
Stricken dumb
Struck blind, until I find
The light I once persecuted
Turn into a bull
And have my way
Erect, protect, detect, and hope to infect
Gullible white-robed simpletons
Abject!
Detest the pain, unrest, disdain, what jest!
Refrain, the best, steel chain, repressed, again:
Protest the claim, the crest, the name, re-test
My aim, duress, wild flame, depressed, my shame!
There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance
But gods drive chariots into tomorrow
And angels whisk merchants away
And proclaim a Message of surrender
And fearful folks donning Inquisitorial cloaks
Set fire to equally stupid temples.
Author notes
I want Tom Cruise and Louis Farrakhan to jointly call a Jihad on me. Fuck them.
In a list
Does it suck?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
You don't like religion, then...
The lines "Why aren't there any dinosaurs in Genesis/You'd think that Adam would have noticed them" cracked me right up! In terms of writing, I think
"Detest the pain, unrest, disdain, what jest!
Refrain, the best, steel chain, repressed, again:
Protest the claim, the crest, the name, re-test
My aim, duress, wild flame, depressed, my shame!"
The structure there gave a welcome break from all the free verse and the wording is very clever.
Why does this poem remind me of Douglas Adams' books?!
-
This was very different to read, i like it, it proves to have a certain quality, very gutsy and stating beliefs foreign to my own, great write buddie boy!
-
sometimes ... as people we do need a sense of humor when comes to religion.... sometimes if we think about it... what life without humor and joy?
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
-
Ah! I love the Scientology/Christian/Muslim references here. No other facet of human civilization has cost more lives and blood shed then organized religion. I like the way you wrapped it all up with the line on burning 'stupid temples'. Good effect.
Who the fuck would have thought to put 2 different holy lands on the same piece of camel-shit smelling desert is beyond me. I know, off topic, but this piece made me think of that.
-
Clever
Hilarious word play. Had to read it twice. The meter of the piece made it intense at times and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Your disdain for any organized religion is evident. I believe I enjoyed the author's notes most of all. I declared Jihad on green bean casserole on Christmas Day. Well done as usual.
-
Auto, I am so glad to see you do another piece, and let me tell you, it's wonderful! You are one hell of a poet with such wit. I really do enjoy reading your works. Keep em coming big guy! Take care and love y
-
The problem is in the "bad wine".....
BTW, excellent piece.
-
wow
this is not quite what i expected but it totally surpassed any expectation i might have had. this is a really good piece, a play on so many different religions melded into one that mocks them all. this is really good. amazing.
-
Our country has freedom of speech and you have used it well. You have expressed yourself clearly.. Cant say I agree with everything you said but you do make some points that would make a reader think.
Soulful Woman
-
This is quite the sarcastic work of poetry. It clearly takes a good poke at most religions, which I detest. I think man in his restricted knowledge would do best to not even try to figure out a Godhead of any type. The line about "being made in his image" was harsh but true. I think we really don't know anything about the divine one or his image. We are totally confused and mislead. I still feel there's a power much great then my expectations, and my limitless abilities. That doesn't make me believe I am lessor than or greater than. What it does is relinquish some of my responsibility to have to always do the right thing. LOL I could go on but won't. Your poetry is truly thought-provoking.
April Nicole
-
Hahaha! Funny shit! I hate Tom Cruise...what a werido...and I talk to trees...but that actaully sounds sane when you look at him, Jesus Christ, what a freak...no really, he can go fall in a bon fire...he can climb a tree, curl up, and piss on himself...haha...he can go have afternoon tea in a hail storm just keep him away from me.
I love this poem...there's nothing I can really say about it besides that it's hilarious...
~Mairéad~
-
No
No words, it's good. I also think science is fake, but I have another reasons. By the way, are you religious? If so, which God do you cult?
-
-
Actually, I'm not religious. The picture I put up was supposed to be ironic.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
