When she smiles
I smile
when her hair flies in the wind
I stop to admire her
When she tucks her hair behind her ear
I quickly look away
but when she dances
I look from behind my glasses at her
Now when she graced me with a date
I couldn't settle myself down
it took me forever to collect myself
at least on the outside
And when she sipped her soda
I wished I was that straw
and when I took her home
she again graced me with a kiss
How to describe that moment?
wonderful?
fantastic?
or heaven on earth?
How she ever noticed me
is still a mystery
because I still love
when she looks at me
Author notes
Option 2
I love u babe!
12/23/2007 7:37 pm
A contest entry
- Make me believe in love again by juno0404.
700 points, ended January 5, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 2009, 1454 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Say What You Want, If it's hurtful u'll be ignored
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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When she tucks her hair behind her ear
I quickly look ASIDE
but when she dances
I look from THE CORNER OF MY EYE
Now when she graced me with a date
MY FEELINGS I couldn't settle
it took me forever to collect myself
at least WHILE BEING SUBTLE
And when she sipped her soda
I wished I was that straw
and when I took her home
SHE WAS WITHOUT FLAW
How to describe that moment?
OR THE MAGNITUDE OF ITS WORTH
COMPLETELY fantastic
or JUST heaven on earth?
How she ever noticed me
is still a mystery
because I still love
when she looks at me
i couldnt think of any rhyme scheme for the first stanza, so i cut it out. again my changes are capitalized -
awwww thats precious! so glad to see you happy

-
"When she smiles
I smile
when her hair flies in the wind
I stop to admire her"
Ohhhhh, this is so sweet.And who wouldn't want to have a love like this?
It is good to know that this kind of love is still possible.
This was well written.
Thank you so much for entering my contest.
-
Aw, this is a darling little poem dedicated to someone you love.
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Thanks!
~Lorissa~
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1 - 5 of 5




