Oh, where are you my child?
I'd give anything to know
I had to give you up
Was nothing left to show
That sad and dreary day
I gave birth to a little girl
You were my precious gem
With one tiny little curl
But the drs they did take you
It left scars within my heart
I did so want to keep you
Never to be apart
Wearing your dress and tights
You were ready to begin
The new life that awaited
A whole new next of kin
They too had a longing
To have one of their own
To live happily ever after
In a lovely hug-filled home
I wish that I could keep you
For forever and a day
I'll live my life not knowing
If you really are okay
But now it's time to say goodbye
And kiss you one last time
I don't want this to end
So let me leave you with this rhyme:
"Take care my little blessing,
I will keep you in my heart
I'll see you in the future
But for now we have to part."
Author notes
This is a poem I dedicated to my firstborn child whom I gave up for adoption in 1996. I was being abused by an ex boyfriend while pregnant. I didn't want her to be abused as well once she came out of the womb, so I decided to give her up to a better life. It killed me to do so, but I know I did the right thing. USERNAME: sunflowers21573/option #4
A contest entry
- Give me life, give me love, give me Your story! by only1love4ever.
625 points, ended May 10, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
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I want readers to give me honest feedback and any suggestions you may have.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Please read the rules.
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'I wish that I could keep you
For forever and a day
I'll live my life not knowing
If you really are okay
But now it's time to say goodbye
And kiss you one last time
I don't want this to end
So let me leave you with this rhyme:'
this part is wonderfully written,
a quick suggestion would be to break it up, put some stanzas in it.
Thanks for entering,
good luck. -
'I wish that I could keep you
For forever and a day
I'll live my life not knowing
If you really are okay
But now it's time to say goodbye
And kiss you one last time
I don't want this to end
So let me leave you with this rhyme:'
this part is wonderfully written,
a quick suggestion would be to break it up, put some stanzas in it.
Thanks for entering,
good luck. -
my mom gave up her first son too. i know how much it hurt her and still does but i know that she made the right decision. and i honestly believe you did to. im sorry that you had to go through that pain but im happy you had the strength to do what was right for you daughter. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck
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wow...
it's so sad, and well written. i love the last part:
'But now it's time to say goodbye
And kiss you one last time
I don't want this to end
So let me leave you with this rhyme:
"Take care my little blessing,
I will keep you in my heart
I'll see you in the future
But for now we have to part.'
great job!!!
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This is a sad poem, but I think you could use more imagery to get that point accross. I also believe you could use some grammar. Thank you for entering my contest, but this is not what I was looking for.
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Only one critique: Please capitalize the first letter of every line. Poems are supposed to have the first letter of every line capitalized. Sorry, it's just a pet peeve, you can change it back after my contest is over with, if you want
Anyway, to the poem, it was wonderful. It's so sad. Just reading it, I can feel your longing. It definitely had me on the verge of tears. It's interesting to see things from the other perspective. Although my situation was different than that of your child (I was abandoned by my father), it would still be a comfort to hear my father's point of view, and your poem has sort of put me at peace. Thank you.
Great write and thanks for entering!
~Memoirs
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So sad. I am glad you did so, it was very thoughtful and unselfish. you must miss her very much. great job and good luc
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Wow that is so sad, I'm so sorry. Sweet write
-Good Luck -
This is sad and so touching. It is written straight from your heart for sure. You have done a great job expressing some very painful emotions in this write. Writing can be so healing. This is beautifully written, and tugs at my heart strings. Blessings, Patty
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very nice =]
thanks for entering
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Only1love4ever-Reply
This poem has given me hope and given me strength. My mother did exactly give me up for adoption, but she chose to walk out of my life when I was 7 and my younger sister was 3. Unlike yourself she had a choice between us or drugs.
I guess it's obvious which she chose.
Sometimes I look back on the day she walked away, trying to remeber the last words she said, but I can't.
I can remember how she walked down to the police station and used the telephone outside, the payphone, and about 20 minutes later, a white van pulled up and took her away.
I've never seen her or heard from her since that day.
So, in a way I feel your pain, it is hard to say goodbye, and it's even harder not knowing if they're all right!
Thank you for this lovely contribution.
It is much appreciated!
Be strong dear friend and there will come a time.
Good luck.
Have a great day!
~Only1love4ever -
a good poem, ah the decisions we have to make sometimes in life and love, they are not easy to make. but make them we have to.
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So sad. It is nice that open adoption is available now so mom can get pics and letters about the child they so selflessly gave, Beautiful dedication.
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This is so sad....I myself was adopted since my mother was too young to care for me. I love this write. Thanks for your entry and good luck.
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Thank you for your heartfelt entry, good luck, Josie
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Bitter-sweet... this really tugs at the strings of my heart... You have a way with words, mom... and you are very dear to me. -hugs tightly- This is just.... touching, like I said... I'm basically speechless. M a r l u x i a
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Thanks for your words. This too was an easy write for me since it described exactly how the birth went and the process of handing her over. I am happy you liked it. It is a day I will never forget
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Nice original write, but cd do with some work.Thanks for entering
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I know how the whole adoption things affects kids. It really depends on the reason. My 2 brothers were given up for adoption and I found them 3 years ago and it has been ok, my brother Jason doesn't really want anything to do with us because he was a baby so he has no memory of it but I feel he feels better that we finally found each other. I am sure you will find you Jenna and when you explain to her why, she will understand. Your a great Mom and I don't know everything you have been through but I am sure she will be pleased to finally know you All the best to you and many blessings my friend!
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