A little girl in fear,
she's known as a whore.
The old man pedifile,
at her front door.
You can get out of this,
just run!
but it's much too late now,
he's getting some.
As soon as she sees him,
she starts to cry.
He doesn't care,
so on the bed they lie.
He holds her down,
as she trys to break free.
She can't escape anyway,
he has the key.
As soon as he's done
he leaves the room.
She knew his existence
would be her doom.
Now there's blood everywere,
and bruises on her.
And when she awakes,
it's all just a blur.
He's always told her,
this is her curse,
and every day it
gets so much worse.
A few months later,
you can see her grave,
and written upon it says
"I've been saved"
Author notes
This one is fiction. I would have entered the one that was personal but it didn't show up when I clicked on enter a pre-writen poem. I guess because it's an old write. Hope you at least like this one though.
A contest entry
- Prewrite Fiesta! - For my Favourites - by Never Fall in Love.
1250 points, ended March 13, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FIESTA [part 2] by Never Fall in Love.
1259 points, ended March 14, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - rape by risewiththesmoke.
300 points, ended August 16, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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great imagery, i like how you put it right out there in the open. thanks for entering
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STUNNING
wow, such a brutally honest look (and a sad one at that) at someone's innocence being stolen from them. you make the reader feel the pain and, in such detail, try to get us to fathom this situation.
well penned. and i'm so so sorry if this has happened to you.
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Thanks so much for commenting I'm glad you like it. Fortunately no this hasn't happened to me but it almost did, one of the reasons i wrote this. Attempted rape is part of what inspired me to write this poem and I'm just glad people have read this and enjoyed it.
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FABULOUS
wow! this is a great poem, though obviously very, very sad. I truly believe this could go very big! Would you mind if I shared it? If so, what do you want me to put for the author part? If you don't want it shared around, don't worry about it...I just love this poem! Child abuse is such a horrid thing, and poetry really pulls at your emotions...the more advocates the better!
Oh and a suggestion...maybe change it from "You can get out of this,
just run!" To something like "You can get out of this! Hurry! Run!" ... and maybe for the title "Saved" ? ...just ideas =)
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Thank you so much for commenting on my work I greatly appreciate. I would like to know who specificly you would be sharing it with and I retain my rights, no exceptions, then I will say if it's ok (I will also tell you what to put for author if I decide it's ok) or not.
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so horriable unfortunatily this happens good job
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thanks
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Thank god this isn't real - and I'm glad that you got to writing to let it all out. It's horrid that it actually happens - absolutely disgusting.
Your poem - as I aid earlier, you should divide it into stanzas - in this case perhaps in 4 or 8?
I like the simplistic rhymes and eas flow. Most people think that a poem has to be complex and try to force words in - but you've got the understanding part
Never ♥ -
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thanks
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thanks
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A very scary and terrifying situation. Well written.
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thanks
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wow this is really gud yet sad..thsi better not b real!
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well this stuff does happen but it hasn't to me, i just woke up one morning and that's what was stuck in my head so i had to write it down 2 get it out
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