What happened to this Eden,
Flawed from the start?
High ideals penned on parchment,
Then cracks appeared
And widened through the decades.
The face of Liberty,
And purity's facade,
Flags waving over amber fields.
The flag wrinkled.
The face withered.
And purity decayed,
An inner, twisted decay
Behind white pillars.
Platitudes muffled
The murmurs of corruption
And hid the dirty hands
Exchanging payment.
Author notes
I'm not sure this is really what you want but I thought I would submit it anyway.
A contest entry
- Fascism in America by ecrivain01.
650 points, ended January 3, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anti-American Poetry PW by Tivoli.
600 points, ended July 28, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you like best about this piece?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great, this was plainly incredible.
I loved how you potrayed the degradation of morals through the parchment cracking.
Great
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Incidently ...
would you have any objections to my posting this on my blog?
poetsporch.blogspot.com/
Let me know.
Thanks,
J.D. -
It's odd ...
but many think that this all just happened. They think that Bush didn't intend for all this to happen, but that it was just primarily accidental. The sad thing is that they are completely wrong.
This was all planned. They planned to steal the election in 2000, they planned everything that's happened since. When Hilary was talking about a vast right wing conspiracy, nobody believed it, but there really was one, and is one.
What I hate the most is that they pretend to be the good guys. They use religion and patriotism to further their sick aims, and people just fall for it like a bunch of sheep being led to the slaughter. It's a sad, sad thing that that kind of people can manipulate so many and seemingly get away with everything for seven years. It's even sadder that they will have another year to follow through with their evil plans. I hope somebody wakes up and stops them before it's too late.
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I like that your piece was written without a lot of anger, for I've had my fill.
The message is clear, concise, the first stanza being my favorite for sure. Best of luck to you!

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I like this.
Lots of detail.
Best of luck.
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It is a good write, the confusion you presented is quite like the actual state.
All the best !
1 - 6 of 6



