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Face paint

Your lipstick tears

                               Almost smudge the contours off my face

Shattering my existence

                               With a single blow of a kiss

 

Your broken humanity

                                Is enough to make me cry

Holding the world in your hands

                                You squeeze as if draining life away

 

But

                               My smile is made of face paint

So you won’t see the scars

  

                              

Author notes

inter group contest

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • penman gold member
    December 31, 2007
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    Excellent

    Very enticing and well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Naridill
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Not sure about ending - very awkward. The wording just doesn't flow like the rest. But apart from that - awesome job


  • sidewinder silver member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thy words touch within those shadows where scars on the heart hold deeply within the darkness!
    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • Lily of the Valley
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a little different to your usual style but I think you have carried it off very well. The idea that a smile is made from face paint is novel but works in context of this poem. Good luck in the contest


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like it. The formating works too.
    I always enjoy reading you. You should write more often.


  • CherylAnn
    December 23, 2007

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    WOW Laura this is simply amazing...I agree with Char that this is different from your usual penning,yet you took the prompt and made it your own and came out with something so real that it is awesome...Enjoyed the read with pleasure babe
    Blessings
    ~Cheryl~


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is so different to your usual style but its an amazing take on the prompt and every line is powerful. well done


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    tough write, and yes, not your usuall genre, but good all the same. has a bit of a bite to it.

    the last line knocks it into place, well done

1 - 8 of 8