sky droops
into her eyes,
black like the falling of a star
soon,
the moon will sink from Atlanta
into a hieroglyph's dark shadow:
a taper of white cities
across his face
Author notes
karamel kandy
A contest entry
- behind the city by flight.
900 points, ended February 11, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please give some honest and constructive criticism -
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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bravo
Short, but so very, very finely done (it is very difficult for me to believe that you are only 13 after reading several of your pieces) quite excellent! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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AP name in authors notes! Though I already know
who wrote it
just to be fair though get that sucker in the box!!! peace to all ~flight
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big, cosmic imagery to small and introspective imagery such a wide sweep to this small poem; remarkable brevity and depth...so very well done...PK
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got a thing for the moon? i used to be passionate about it. still prefer it over the sun. unfortunate that it shines only because the sun burns.
you do wonders at your age. hope you know that.
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Just wow. This poem is, once again, full of creative imagery and so many meanings... (sorry my constructive criticism is totally absent, I'm just being honest).
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Very creative, very visual poetry. Lovely and perfect!
~ Nicolette
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Very, very creative my dear friend. You bring to us some special feelings of eternity. More than perfect for this contest.
~Sonja~
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this is beautiful, a look of light in her eyes reflecting on his face....love this one
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