People tell me
I spit the prolific words
of a timeless sage...
that I am...
wise beyond my years?
What the hell do they know?
Thirty-six years spent
wandering and wondering...
ever so aimlessly through this
hideous and pious world...
pondering the truest meaning of
this hazy daydream called life.
Life...gave it to three lil creatures...
and I wonder...
what the hell for?
Biracial skin and biracial hair
forcing them to have to
kick down doors that the
faired skinned ones can
so easily open with a simple tap...
but not my offspring...no...
they must fight a battle
day in
and day out...
and I fight the urge to
send postcards from the edge
of the deep end...
reading...
"Fuck the world...
or they'll fuck you first"...
and jumping...parachuteless...
instead I...
smile...
not that "twinkle-in-they-eye" smile...
for fear that if I do,
a fissure would begin
at the corners of my tempestuous lips...
and spread through into my scalp
down my chin...
spider-webbing across my chest that
fed three children and
sustained them until solid foods could be
digested properly...
across my stretch-mark laden belly...
onto and up my back...
down onto my
five inches less than a real ass...
down tired and fatigued legs.
To keep from
cracking and crumbling...
I simply smile a
comfortably numb smile.
Not too many muscles necessary
for this grin...
a slightly sarcastic smirk...
one that says...
What the hell
should I smile for anyway?
...and I look at the three lil creatures
and I realize...
I have to smile...
because they need me to.
A contest entry
- Smile? by Exodus.
525 points, ended January 18, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
You've certainly got the desperate, numbling feel here perfectly. I can feel the words in my head as I read them. Very powerful work here, thank you
-
Living between worlds and seldom actually inside either of them, has a tendency to educate those who were confronted with options that the unmixed never had to face, in ways that quite often are of an unkind nature. This brain dead world is subject to the insuppressible urge to categorize matters incessantly. Those who do not have to choose are fortunate, relative to those who never have to consider matters that the ones who are continuously asked to choose from options that never consider their needs or desires. Those forced to live the dilemma of belonging nowhere, will have to learn in order to survive the ridiculous and mindless requirements of society either way. The type of grin that is part of the result of this situation feels familiar. It reflects an awareness that pales that of the unmixed, as well as the frustration caused by the ignorance of society. Darwin stated life on this planet will reflect the survival of the fittest, which is a label often applied to the world of the unmixed by themselves. But I read somewhere that the fittest bacteria are still bacteria, the fittest reptiles are still reptiles and the fittest apes are still apes, because there was never a reason in their lives to adjust in order to survive. The species that continuously had to adjust to circumstances gradually improved their properties. I consider the biracial people busy with improving themselves. Our lifespan is generally too short to benefit from these efforts personally, but as a group this will be the case measured over a longer period of time. Thank you for creating and sharing. Good luck in the contest and stay strong. Take care,
AD
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If you believe we are all leaves blowing in the wind, then OK. I don't happen to believe that. I own my life, and nobody will ever blow it out of my control.
-
"To keep from
cracking and crumbling...
I simply smile a
comfortably numb smile."
I sometimes do this...I enjoyed this my dear.
With much love,
Michael.
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