I would like to tell you
I am uspset with you
I lend you my ear
you confide in me, your pain
You shed tears
that I, myself, catch
you hurt deeply
you're not sure you can go on
I say that you can
you tell me later
you wonder if anyone really cares
I say, I do
now I would like to tell you how I feel
you are also breaking My heart
So during our next conversation
I will be honest with you
I will tell you that along with the pain you feel,
YOU are also inflicting pain.... on me
in other words... When you hurt...
I hurt also
because I care about you
So when I tell you that I care
and you don't believe me
it hurts
picture by: allposters.com
A contest entry
- Back to Where I was...... by the tempest.
475 points, ended July 27, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I would def say this poem works for my contest...wonderful!!
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Great poem.
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So true
I have found that has happened in my life as well and it does hurt terribly .
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thanks for youe comment my friend!!
Silver
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Very nice
Enjoyed your writting
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wow!
this is an emotional piece.
I really like the message. many friends do not realize how upset it makes their friend to have to see them cry and be sad. so, for that, i always try to tell myself to be happy to atleast make my friend feel all's well.
The part about the friend thinking no one cares and you telling her you so is very sweet and I have experienced it. Not literally but we know when a friend will stick with us no matter what. nice picture too. 
*f
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I disagree with the person below the person below me.
I think this poem is fantastic. I'm a poet with a very high standard that most poetry doesn't stand out to me, but I can honestly say that I adore this poem. The message is so crisp and so clean. Do you write in the way of a Stream of Consciousness, becuase it seems like a very developed thought. I can relate to this perfectly, from both sides, and the person that was criticizing you must not know what good poetry is. Of course, I'm speaking from opinion, and I'm taking my before his, but I think its appropriate when its crucial in these kinds of situations.
I'm sorry that your friend is doing that to you, but you must realize if you never experienced the other end, its hard to think that even when someone is there listening to you, that you feel like no one cares. In most situations, the person doesn't mean you, they mean everyone else, of course, I'm just making assumptions.
I hope everything works out, and it goes okay for you.
Keep writing, its fantastic.
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I agree with you. although the write wasn't about anyone specifically, I was only remembering times when I was on both sides observing. I thank you so much for the words of encouragement my friend!!!
GBY
Silverbutterfly
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I agree and at the same time dis agree with AlfVenison. I think that it a distraction with the punctuation. But then agian I also know that when you get typing it is hard to pause long enough to make sure the commas are all in the correct spot. I do that a lot. I personally can see were you are coming from on this poem. I have been there, and I am sorry you are there now. It is hard to explain exactly how that feels and I applaud how you at least tried. All in all I think that if you were to fix some of the grammar issues, then this would be perfect!!!
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thank you so much for the advice!! I wrote this off the top of my head and did not check punctuation I'm afraid But your very kind comment is much appreciated!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
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I disagree with the poet below.
I admit I did peek for author notes, but I didn't NEED
them to understand the message in this poem.
The poem purposely has a lot of air in it so we as readers can hear her meanings written quite clear.
This is the highest suicide time...Christmas...and when
one is lost in the fog of depression, I'd sure want a
friend like this poet to PULLL me through with the
poetic kindness she did fearlessly in this write!
good job dear poet! good good job!
I have friends I turn to for comfort...and friends
who "bullseye" me..pulling me out...so I can better
identify and confront whatever "issue" I am facing
and feeling unsure about.
Proud of you!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) bold & honest spoken words
as only a friend can do!
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thank you so much for what you said on my write!! I am so grateful you saw what I was attempting to get across. I know I have been on the other side of the coin, as the friend who couldn't trust another friend. So this is written from my own experience on both sides!
Thank you, thank you , thank you!!!!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
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Second person point of view doesn't work here, as your reader does not relate to the matters you are directing to him. Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic and therefore distracting. The big problem is the first line. Don't tell anything, and certainly don't tell us how you feel. This piece is navel gazing, not poetry. Sorry.
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thank you for your very kind comment. I see you are new here on Ap. Welcome My friend!!!
GBY
Silverbutterfly
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