"If you love someone
You can let them go
If they come back to you
They are yours, forever"
And she's come back to me
I let her go
More than a year ago
For reasons of drugs
And that I turned 18
She called me
So we talked
She was bored
So we hung out
She wanted to walk around
So I brought her to our spots
She was cold
So I hugged her
She said I love you
So I kissed her
She was my strongest love
So I love her still
And through all of this
There was repeated admittence of love
Me not wanting to go to the army
You don't want to get attached
Just in case, I'm lost forever
This time,
Wasn't like the last time
It was just the two of us
It was dark and cold that night
But tension was high
We were able to heat things up
Was this the end of a new begining
Or the begining of something never ending
I hope the second one
But am ready for the first
I still love you
You told me you still loved me
We should really start going together
So if I do die
I can die knowing, I am loved
Author notes
I don't feel its very good, i wrote it on the spot
Vicky Series #6
prequal: http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/2769066
a crazy-dan production
In a list
A contest entry
- click at own risk by Canis Lupus.
600 points, ended January 5, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best! by Celticmoon.
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525 points, ended February 4, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - finding love by Hecate616.
350 points, ended March 17, 2008, 143 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Love Writes Here! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended March 8, 2008, 306 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Reason Why =) by incondite.
700 points, ended September 24, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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User name in the author's notes please.
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srry about forgetting that, its really early here.
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the last bit made me want to cry... but it is good dying knowing that you are loved, its a comfort in the last few minutes. This is beautiful and very realistic look at a love, it's not always smooth, but its true.
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BEAUTIFUL!
My boyfriend is in the Military and actually in Iraq right now so I know him and I can relate to this.
best of luck!
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i'm in the army actually. I'm in the future soldier program, i'll be leaving for basic mid june.
so i can relate to him
what is he doin'?
(private message me if u chose to talk with me further)
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You do have a rather emotionally strong piece here though personally I would omit the third stanza as a whole. It feels to me to give this piece a redundancy that could be avoided. The things stated there really need not be said at all as the remainder of your words express it all very clearly. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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I like the beginning...
"If you love someone
You can let them go
If they come back to you
They are yours, forever"
That is so true about if you love someone...it is hard to let go of them...very touching...
it really touch my heart..
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Love, this, Just amazing poem, and I really enjoyed reading this, my favorite part would have to be:
I still love you
You told me you still loved me
We should really start going together
So if I do die
I can die knowing, I am loved
love the emoitons in this
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
She called me
So we talked
She was bored
So we hung out
She wanted to walk around
So I brought her to our spots
She was cold
So I hugged her
She was my strongest love
So I love her still
I like that part best
It is good, especially for something on the spot
kudos to you
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Thanks for entering. Aw I thought this was soooo touching, I'm adding it to the finalists. Looks like I read this one at the right time, but apart from my mood swings, this is wonderfully written anyway!
The first stanza is very true, I remember that one from when I was a kid, we all used to say it, but of course as you get older, you start to see that it is more true than you first thought.
I love the way you describe the events in this piece and what you said to each other did, I wonder how much is true, but I can feel a lot of heart felt emotion in this piece...I like that!
Good luck in my contest
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Beautiful job here...
It's a real nice piece you've penned here, and I hope that things work out for you two..
-Danneh<#
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