He drank
his applause
in a silence complete
before attempting
his next illusion.
he'd spotted that girl
an intriguing piece.
looking
ripe?
for a bite
of confusion.
~//
on the stage
he placed enticingly
a blood red bowl
heaped up
with cherries and cream
inspiration
...for his mentalist dreams.
and she rose..
sweet, so sweet, so sweet.
~//
bathed
in
centre spotlight
he bragged...
and now
for my next
amazing illusion
I will turn you
into
a most beautiful
harmonious
and gentle white dove.
merely
step along here
inside this box
think peace
think peace...
think love think love,
think love.
~//
But
as she
stepped blindly
into the box
he felt a quiver
of unnerving unrest.
profound sensations
Invaded his mind
and a vision
flew
into the
darkness
of her half exposed breast.
~//
when he
re-opened the box
the audience and he
recoiled
in shock.
for there
hovering
larger
than life
...was the sight
of a
vampire bat.
~//
he raised
an eye
at the
intriguing creature
[Who shrugged with indifference]
...for who
could have known
It would turn out
like that?
Author notes
Story poetry. When things go wrong. This is an excerpt from something I was working on a while back. I may do some edits later on.
~option 9.
A contest entry
- Anything and EveRything! by Poetic Obscenity.
450 points, ended January 6, 2008, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A character Indeed by Emmyb.
760 points, ended March 16, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POETRY PODCAST - Showcasing your work. by Thom Boulton.
700 points, ended April 1, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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this is fantastic!!! what a perculiar and odd poem and yet i read it all with such amazement. Incredible. well done. thanks for entering this into the contest.
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That is very cute indeed, I love it so much. It's very intriguing, You've done A Great job with this piece. I truly enjoyed it. You write very well and it's was a twisted ending. I love it. Great Write, Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
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Very nice. A great, well-written story. And I am happy to see someone choose a new option, especiallt this one. Thanks very much for entering, and best of luck!
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Why edit??? This was truly awesome!!! You are a very creative and imaginative writer. I really enjoyed this and the twist at the end was brilliant!!!
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This reminded me of a story I read in The Knife Thrower, but I think in that story the trick was meant to go wrong. I love reading poems/stories that deal with magicians and their tricks. I think its the mystery behind the act rather then actual illusion that makes them so interesting. I don't really agree with cassiandra's comment, I thought the body was more interesting then the ending. Either way, it was a nice piece.
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Wowwie! I really enjoyed reading this! I liked that it had a little fantasy wrapped in it. I also loved your choice or words and formatting!
Great work -
this is a gerat peice and very much what im looking for. i like it very much, its a wounderful write. thank you for entering my contests. best of luck. j
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This has profound metaphors. The illusionist who tries to manifest his/her desires. I think this is a great poem and has the original quality to it that I really liked. It's very inspiring. I also think it's kind of like a story with a moral.
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hmmm, i liked the ending
the entire poem was rather detached which i felt hindered this particuallar poem but can see how you probably wanted that effect
kudos -
You are just amazing.
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Dear Georgina,
An intriguing story of a trick gone wrong which puts me in mind of a recent video I saw of "a conjurer in the park" where the magician asked two from the crowd to pull on the hands and the feet of a girl lying on his 'magic table' while he pressed on her stomach and muttered a spell. The girl came completely apart in the middle, her upper part screaming in horror while her legs and toes were still kicking at the other end of the table. It was quite upsetting to watch!!
Your story is well told and I enjoyed the concealed rhyming between the stanzas which binds them together.
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
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Dear Hugh
Thankyou for reading and leaving such a kind review.
Hugsxx G.& Rufus.
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