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Possession by Gypsy

 

 

 

 

 
She came dressed as a tatter
of string and bone.
 
Frayed ends knitted circles,
each thread horizon-like,
straight at a distance but curved
from above and centre.
 
With a basket of hollow cloth
she rode on the backs of psychics
and oracles, wove tales of confusion,
of inversion- of an out-of-body
experience reversed.
 
Her talent was more attuned

to possess than float free of foreign skin,
so they failed to glimpse past that surface

with their mysteries and inner eyes
fixed to distant lines, sketching

her future while false perspective
shaded the lie.
 
They said she was too dark for their sight,

a patchwork gypsy, homeless within herself.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Word Prompt: Remnants

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • EvilKate gold member
    January 7

    Edit | Reply

    <

    Pretty much spot on actually. In the early days, only a while after I'd handed my mother the details of my changes to come, she set up an appointment with a psychic ... which isn't odd in out family, such things are well accepted regarding alternative arts. However, tis was a 'psychic' - as fake it gets. You see, I'd told my mum that, by my birthday I'd be taking some big steps. Now the psychic comes in with this whole spiel, along the lines of "You are considering some changes very soon. You must not do this, for if you do before September, you will die of surgical complications."



    *sigh* I'm not angry at my mum. I never was. She just wanted to hold on to the son she though she had. The sad irony - those changes I spoke about to her, did not involve surgery ... I was referring to telling a few more family members. That was all. Of course, she jumped to a conclusion and, how odd that the 'psychic' jumped to the very same one. At that point I knew any surgery was several years away. I have my first endocrinologist appointment in 9 days ... so the hormones (and voice work and electrolysis and some dental stuff) will fill the next year. THEN ... then I start getting surgical stuff sorted, as finances allow.

    So yes - short answer - you got it bang to rights


  • HeavenScent4U
    January 6

    Edit | Reply
    I have to say that the gypsy theme was the perfect route to go with this title This is full of both great imagery, imagination and emotion. Very creative write here. Thanks for entering and good luck. Be well and be blessed


  • islekine
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Best wishes in the contest.

    Wrie on!
    This is a great piece!
    Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!


  • solo wisp gold member
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    yeah...ughm... and these!


  • solo wisp gold member
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Only thing I see to Crit is past(4th stanza, 3rd line), I believe should be passed.

    This is unique in and of itself. View from an entity talented in possession. Quite inventive!

    Best of luck in the contest!

    Steve

    • EvilKate gold member
      December 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks but you are incorrect

      In the context above "past" is a preposition, as in "can you see the house just past the corner-shop."


      • solo wisp gold member
        December 30, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        Whoops! I apologize, don't know what I was thinking at the time. Looks as if I interpreted as a verb instead, somehow. *scratches head*

        Many thanks for the correction!

        Steve

  • Cerulean gold member
    December 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Best of luck to you.
1 - 11 of 11