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Pause With Me

Carry heart beyond silver
to softer shades of gold
where love embraces shivers
born not of the cold

Marry existence to dreaming
the world not set in stone
with lingering touch remaining
inside the silence known

As you dwell safe in my soul
all shadows suspended

allow time's presence to lessen

within beauty blended

 

Pretend all mirrors reflect us

as pure light above hope

drinking of the clearest waters

from cares we shall elope
 

  
 

Author notes

Your prompt for this round is this title:
'Slow Motion Feelings'

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • tearyeyedbutterfly
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very soft and lovely, kind of ethereal!!!


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    February 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful pause indeed. So good to see a trophy on this piece. I am sorry I missed this one early one. Well done. ~Pamela


  • SugarCandyKittyKat
    February 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This write has a very safe and secure tone to it...


  • bones7
    February 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think this is beautiful.
    worthy of a golden trophie

  • Nighttime angel
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is one beautiful poem, I truly enjoyed reading it. I like the the 1st and 3rd stanzas immensely. I must say that I usually don't like love poems, but the way that you write them, its different. hard for me to put into words what I am trying to say. this poem is filled with wonderful imagery and so much emotions..

    congratulations on the HM

    kat


  • sassylibra0074
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    brilliant

    This was brilliant, I love th ease and flow of your words. Your rhyming is excellent- you're truly talented my friend, thanks for sharing.


  • blondone
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Wink !!!!

    This is so soft and emotions flow with ease just as such as the read wonderfully presented a grandstand look into Love... you have a great day and P.S. you've been hood-winked by the Poetic Bandits


  • wakingdevil
    January 18, 2008

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    Hood-Winked!

    The imagery in this was beautiful and it was a refreshing write.The flow was nice and the rhyme was well done.Best of luck


  • Poetry and I Inc
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-winked!

    I must say the third

    stanza really did it for me,

    though I thoroughly

    enjoyed the poem in its entirety! I

    love the easy structure and rhyme again.

    Nothing's forced and I'm a real stickler

    about such things. I will

    have to come back for more.

    FAV:

    "allow time's presence to lesson"

    Awe-struck once more.

    Keep penning!

    ~The Inc."


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    January 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this one is another showing of your fine talent,


  • HeavenScent4U
    January 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Considering this was possibly Bella's favorite title, I think you did her proud Such slow, easy emotion conveyed through your words here. The rhyming was excellent and consistant throughout also. You always write with such passion. Although the whole poem was wonderful, these lines seem to stick with me well after reading it. (which by the way I have done several times)

    "where love embraces shivers
    born not of the cold"

    Thank you for yet another wonderful entry and good luck. Be well and be blessed


    Rules: 10
    Presentation: 9
    Spelling, grammar, and punctuation: 19
    Originality: 19
    How well you handled the prompt: 20
    Overall: 19

    Total: 96


  • PerfectImperfection
    January 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A whimsical piece of hope saturating the dawn of all things.... Nice take on the prompt here! Very well penned!


  • pearl-dragon
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your rhyming was so subtle that I didn't realise it was there until I read the other comments or maybe I was just lost in your words. Beautifully written. Best wishes in the contest.

    Margaret


  • Arkbear gold member
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nice job ~

    I am not a Fan of rhyme, yet your ability to capture me was impressive ~

     

    It takes a lot to make this Bear turn and look, but your Tone was/is almost perfect all the way through ~

     

    Lovely job indeed,

     

    .....good luck to you and your entry,

     

    Bear ~


  • Kari gold member
    December 29, 2007

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    ooooo wow this was so beautiful ! You did incredible on the word prompt that was given. I wish you the best of luck in the contest


  • islekine gold member
    December 28, 2007

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    This is very well penned!

    "Marry existence to dreaming
    the world not set in stone"
    Bravo on this line!
    Best wishes in the contest and coming new year!
    Write on!
    *PEACE*


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    December 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have a beautiful rhyme scheme going here. If I were to suggest an area to work on, I'd try the second stanza...If possible, without torturing the rhythm, I'd work out the 'ing rhymes. Big no-no in my eyes, rhyming and timing with 'ing, but through others...who knows.

    -Min-


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    December 25, 2007

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    Beautiful

    This verse is soft, tender, and reflective. I enjoyed this very much. Well done to the prompt. Best of luck in this contest. ~Pamela


  • Laura
    December 23, 2007

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    once again you have amazed me... over the last 9 months ive known you i ahve seen you grow with such amazement... you are one talented person whom im sure hasnt reached a peek yet xxxx


  • Peteskid gold member
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    such a wonderful scope and expansive feeling to this piece,the words soar with classic syntax...so very well done...PK


  • BeautifulFlame
    December 23, 2007

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    This is outstanding as always my dear friend!

    As you dwell safe in my soul
    all shadows suspended

    allow time's presence to lessen

    within beauty blended



    Pretend all mirrors reflect us

    as pure light above hope

    drinking of the clearest waters

    from cares we shall elope


    Loved it!
    Love
    ~Lisa~


  • Skitzofreinian
    December 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nice,
    marry existence to dreaming
    a world not set in stone
    my favorit


  • Furey
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is absolutely brilliant. Great utilisation of poetry technique such as metophors, visual imagery and rhymiong as well as the use of first person. I thought the first stanza was particularly well written as it grasbs you so tight that you can almost feel the passion behind the words "Carry heart beyond silver
    to softer shades of gold where love embraces shivers
    born not of the cold" It is almost a plea to someone to love them so much more then they currently do. I thought it was a mind blowing start to such as great poem. Well done markgrif. Hope to read some more of your work one day. Merry Christmas and all the best.


  • HeavenScent4U
    December 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Again, welcome to round 2!

    Your prompt for this round is this title:

    'Slow Motion Feelings'

    You must use this as inspiration and make note of it in your AN. Thank you!

    No more than 20 lines and you have until the end on Dec. 31st to complete your entry. Best of luck to you! Be well and be blessed

1 - 26 of 26