How will I tell her? What will she say?
If I say, "I love you", will she be okay?
Repeating the words like spice on my tongue,
Make me feel reckless, foolish, and young.
Should I take her hands, trap them in my own?
Feel the sins we've created in these years that we've grown.
As I draw them about to the scars on my back,
And whisper in her hear ear the many hugs that I lack.
Could I kiss her softly, and would she care,
If I ran both my hands through the locks of her hair?
Feel the warmth that she brings into the cold of my mind,
As she helps me forget it's backwards design.
Can she bring me out of this fortress I made?
Where my hopes for heaven still sorrowfully lay?
Scoop me up in the arms I've avoided too long,
Tell me I'm still missed and that I still belong.
Is she the Goddess that I seek to adore?
Covered in tears, humbly tattered and torn,
An ear for my secrets, my prayers and dreams,
Listen to my puzzles, tell me what they mean.
Will she be there, till the end of the end?
A soul who'll bear with me, till I finally send,
Her grace to the heavens, with the prayers I said,
Since the day that I met her, till the day that we're dead.
If I say, "I love you"
Will she love me too?
We'll see.
End.
-Dorick
A contest entry
- To the one you care about by A falling star.
2200 points, ended March 5, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 50 KNIGHTS , 1 KING !!!! by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 6, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A love That Surpasses All. by Poetryintheblood.
525 points, ended September 15, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how many times can i break till i shatter. by innocence jaded.xx.
900 points, ended December 3, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, and words any woman would want to hear, i know I would, good luck in my contest, Josie
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oh my god that is gorgeous.. i felt every single word of that.... that was absolutely amazing.. and i've been there. actually i am that girl for someone right now.. v.v wow... that was really really amazing thank you so much for entering this.. i really appreciate it. and again let me say that your style is beautiful and unique and your rhyme is subtle and powerful and i just love your work..really. i wish you the best of luck in the contest you will likely be a finalist!
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This was a sad yet sweet piece.. I really liked it..You created a vivid image.. I like that..
Well done.. Best of luck..
Angel
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this is a beautiful poem, but our loves are quite diferent. your poem is not what I am looking for.
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This was sort of sad and sort of sweet. I very emotional write but does not over do it by being way to over dramtic and emotional.
It's vulnerable but is also shows that you are very strong man [hopefully you are a guy, if not this is lovely]
Thanks so much for entering
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Should I take her hands, trap them in my own?
My favorite line in a slew of many well written ones
I am feeling this poem, the doubt, the hope - all of it, well done!
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Excellent
This is very vunerable and couragous at the same time.
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that is absolutely beautiful.
i really enjoyed it
good luck in my contest
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This was really pretty. It had a really good flow and good rhymes.
Thanks for entering!
-Sonya -
fear... fear of letting someone know how you feel
and taking the risk of losing them if they do not feel the same
but unspoken feeling
can tare apart your insides
and make you crazy
make you cry at night
you just have to decide whether you want to risk losing her or holding this terrible inner pain
love this write
thanx for entering -
It's never easy is it? Saying I love you
Sometimes I think I'd rather walk on broken glass than spit those words out Anyhow, a beauty of a piece you've done here, I love the honesty of it. Well done.
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A beautifully penned , metrical piece. Very anxious write.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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You really have put your heart out in poetry, it is a lovely flow of words.
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YOu really spoke your heart
and the risks of just laying it wide open.
WE could feel all your feelings and yearnings too.
You did very well in this write! Bold and fearless
you let it all out! that was courageous to do!
good good job!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) great job on the prompts!
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As she helps me foget it's backwards design.
you might want to fix the 'forget' but aside from that this a really great piece! great job! -
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Thanks for pointing that out for me!
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This really was special. You hold so much hope in the love you have for her. Every reader will feel these feelings. A wonderful piece of writing.
Good luck in the contest.
Soulful Woman
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Her grace to the heavens, with the prayers I said,
Since the day that I met her, till the day that we're dead.
If I say, "I love you"
Will she love me too?
We'll see.
This is a voice coming from the deep of the heatr..I can feel it ..this is wonderful and amazing work indeed...
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