I always thought that once you were dead, you were dead,
but now, i am sitting here wondering my fate.
Will i get to heaven, though i did not believe?
or will they just keep me standing outside the gate?
For those who have sinned, i would start to confess now,
Make amends for everything that you have done bad,
because if you are like me, and leave it too late,
you will wish you had taken that chance that you had.
Im looking down upon you, wishing i was there,
ill keep on smiling, just like when i was alive,
you have to be brave now, you must keep on going,
for me, you have to make it through this and survive.
Go to the people that you have hurt in the past
and tell them all, you are sorry for causing them pain,
tell them that you know now that what you did was wrong,
promise them that you will never do it again.
Look up, and say to god that you believe in him,
cause i dont want you to be sat where i am now.
There are certain rules, and i did not follow them
but im hoping i get into heaven somehow.
I saw a glimpse of hell on my way to limbo,
they say that no smiling or laughing is allowed,
you know my one feature was my huge cheesy grin,
i was always the most happy one of the crowd.
So to go down there, and have to always be sad,
i dont know quite how i will be able to cope.
All i ask is that you dont live life like i did
because if nothing else, at least you have some hope.
Author notes
Its about bein in limbo...obviously..
A contest entry
- Afterlife (The final round – Invite Only) by Beating.
379 points, ended December 28, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Titles.titles.Titles] by xXLucid-CatalystXx.
1200 points, ended January 30, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Escape From The Afterlife! by brightXdarkness.
600 points, ended June 20, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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hm... this is inetresting. I like the whole idea of the narrator looking down at people still living and telling them that they should start to believe in things of which you never believe because one day it may be too late. Thanks for the advice
lol Anyway, I like this take on the prompt a lot! Thank you very much for entering my contest, and best of luck to you in having done so!! 
Alex -
It's a very good poem. I love the rhyme scheme and the flow of it. It almost seems like a letter and a warning to those who do bad deeds in life and sin their way to to get the things they want. It's a very profound message. I love it! Good luck in the contest!
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes -
I like how you write from a person's POV in limbo, and not just plain-out saying it. Also, I like how it's done by a person who did NOT get their afterlife like they expected, and has to be on the difficult side of things.
Great write. You pulled this off nicely.
Thanks for sharing & entering my contest A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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So much meaning
I loved your message that you expressed here. There are so many people that do not grasp this concept...... You wrote wonderfully! good luck!
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Thought provoking and straight to the point, I like this. Good luck in life and all that you do. ~Bret~
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This is very different from the other entries. Instead of focusing a lot on describing your whereabouts, you send out a moral. I like that. Good job!
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