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Whole Lot Like...

Missing image
Losing grip in the pits of despair
No stability with nothing to grasp.
Time elapses as he stares me down,
Vengeance running cold through his veins.
Danger emits the better of two options for me:
Bravery from the very saviour who
Comes bearing comfort for my soul.

Crying in the dark for the one I needed
Before realising, I open my eyes to him.
Detrimental images slowly make way for
Visions of a legitimate future, protected.
Time elapses in the arms of an angel and
Nausea feels a whole lot like
Love

Author notes

#2 - Being the protected

There's a secret in this. I wonder if anyone will find it heehee.

And I tried to add a personal spin on the end so it didn't come across corny. Lol. I'm so in love

PS: The two "he's" are different people.

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • GypsyEyes
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very beautifully written you have a very unique style Good luck in the contest and have a happy new year!
    ~NineTailedFox


  • Nigel
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The last line is amazing. How we sometimes confuse emotions, only later to truly understand the value. I'm not sure what the secret may be, but I think it was an intriguing poem to read.


  • Xxthe angry gothxX
    December 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think I saw part of the personal spin, and though tit was quite cute. I lovely write and curious as to why this hasn't placed yet. good luck


  • LadyDementia gold member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful little write. I'm thinking about the secret, think I may have guessed with these lines...

    Nausea feels a whole lot like
    Love

    They do strike me as...well odd hehe. I won't put it here, in case I am well off the mark Best of luck in the contest with it


    • Girl With Guitar silver member
      December 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Oh please do IM me. Now I'm curious as to what you're thinking! Thank you for the comment and luck.


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    December 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nice Work

    Hi sweetness this is quite a well penned poem and I really like whatcha did for this contest. I just enjoyed how you wrote it and how we could really feel like we were there experiencing that with you. any ways over all this is a well penned thriller of a poem and when I say thriller I mean that its a well done poem. keep up the good work and pen away Signed. Paul
    P.S. Good Luck in the contest


  • aslanlight
    December 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    In one of my classes a teacher said you know when you've written a great poem when someone says 'Wow', well Woooowwwww!
    This causes a lovely, glowy feeling and conveys hope. I love positive poems and this can defo be classed as that. Your grammer and word use is very good too!

    Peace Georgia

    • Girl With Guitar silver member
      December 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I've had a few people say that a few times! lol. I'm glad I conveyed the hope, because that's definitely what I feel these days. As much as I'm wary of change, I don't half mind this. And thank you for the comment about grammar I tried hard this time.


  • Lady Australis silver member
    December 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nice!
    your an awasoem poetess
    love ya


  • Tarja
    December 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I recognize the difference dear. This was just lovely. The way you captured the essence of the picture was just magnificent. I especially love the fact that you included the picture. I think this was a wonderful entry... the only thing I must suggest isn't even related to the poem... change the background! YUCK! No GO!
    Other than that brilliant! Thank you for entering and good luck.

1 - 12 of 12