I do still dream of you
In the dark and silent night
When the winds so gently blow
And the stars shine shards of light.
I do still dream of you
Your face and eyes so sweet,
Swirling curls of raven hue,
Your soft white hands and feet.
My wandering thoughts so faint
In midnights’ darkest dreams
Of love that never dies
Through my deepest sleep still streams.
Your rosy lips, now pale;
Now still and cold your heart,
As soon too mine will fail,
Our end destined from the start.
Oh, wake me from this dream
Wherein love and life must fail
And let me kiss you once again
On your lips and forehead pale.
My shallow breath grows weak and thin,
My heart gives out at last,
Oh hold me close to you again
When this life from me has passed.
Even then will I dream of you
In that bright, eternal light
Where the winds no longer blow
And there’s never dark of night.
Your lips no longer cold and pale,
Your heartbeat loud and fast,
Your arms and mine in love entwined
When we meet again – at last.
A contest entry
- Pain or Love by XxESPNCHICKxX.
600 points, ended January 13, 2008, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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"culinary expertise that leaps towards the heart
and touches, sniffs it – pricks it fresh –
sees and keeps the human
in its art: the animal, the sweat, the flesh."
Oh my, this poem is so cheesey, it sends me rushing to my fridge where I find a treasure, a slab of Stilton, and savouring it, read again this poem from you...Just kidding. This is really quite sweet, and very poetic. At least your rhyme is not forced and the flow is quite lovely. I for one, would not be sorry to have this poem written for or about me. Thanks for sharing.
~c♥
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I must comment here.
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I am starting to think you may, like me, believe in reincarnation. Love that will go on, even after physical death. Beautiful in so many sad ways. I smile.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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this was love and yearning and aching and hope all in one. Very sad yet hopeful and loving at the end. I enjoyed it. Thank you
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Ohhh my...
There is a haunting, delicate beauty to this poem. All at once it makes you see the frailty of life and the beauty of that mortality.
Again, I have to say, you are this era's Shakespeare, Poe, Browning...
I have a feeling that someday in the future, you will be regarded as a classic poet of this time. I have no doubt that your poems will be published, even studied.
I mean every word of that.
Again, you use this incredible subtle rhyme. I have a great deal of respect for your style of writing - you make it seem so natural.
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I love this poem! its just so deeply beautiful and moving. an excellent piece of writing that left me breathless.
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Thank you!
I went to your profile and saw that you list my poem as your favorite. That is truely flattering. I haven't been writing poetry long and I was never sure if I could. Everyone on this site has given me such good feedback that I will certainly continue.
Your comment means a great deal to me and I feel encouraged to continue writing poetry.
Thanks,
CaliOkie
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I certainly hope you win Gold with this it is amazing wonderful imagery and flow in this piece Good luck with it
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Its painful but lovable at the same time....if you get what I'm saying.
This is truly beautiful i really liked it
keep up the excellent work my friend
Stevie
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Thank you!
I appreciate your comments and I thank you for your kind words.
When you lose a soul mate, after the pain and sorrow, there is the beauty of remembered times and the hope of seeing that soul mate again in a world made new. I wanted to convey the longing of lost love.
CaliOkie
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So touching!
Oh man, this is so powerfully moving! It really touched my heart.
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Many thanks
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it when people take the time to respond to my work.
I will be wriing more.
CaliOkie
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Outstanding!!!!
Beautiful and sad...amazing. I confess that I clicked because I have a piece with the same title..and the themes are similar. Wow Wow Wow.. Bravo! I can't believe so few readers have commented. This is a wonderful work...Mat Larkin
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Thanks!
I do appreciate your comments. I just added this on December 20, and I think things get a little slow over the holidays; hence the lack of comment.
I have not been writing poetry long and I am a poor judge of my own work. So, every comment I get is a help.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my poem.
CaliOkie
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OMG!!!!!! This is amazing!!!! I think you captured thoughts that I have been feeling for a while now! Since I lost my love. You did great with this one!!
Best of luck in this contest!!
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Thank you so much!
When two soul mates are separated, the longing can be so bittersweet. But, being the eternal optimist, I like to believe we are all reunited eventually.
CaliOkie
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Okay. Now this....
is a song. Instruments: piano, cello, and a few faint violins. It would illustrate the nature you so well describe, its moanings and dreamscapes.
Beautiful one as well. Impressive.
Love the end. You're good with the resolves!
Thank you so much. Warmly, CookieZeal
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I do so look forward to your comments because I very much respect your opinion. Thank you for all the time and thought you put into your reviews.
The fact is, I am so new at this that I do not know what constitutes good poetry or if what I have to say is of any interest to anyone.
Your feedback is much appreciated. And please do not hesitate to let me know what you think I can improve on in my work.
I do recognize that I have a significant focus on death and lost love in my poetry. Don't ask me why. I have been very fortunate in my life and have not had many losses and I feel I'm pretty happy.
When I write, it is as if I am writing for someone else, that some other voice speaks through my words. Maybe because it is such a subconscious process and taps into some part of myself of which I am only vaguely aware.
Do you have a similar experience? Are other writers dissociative when they write? Or am I the weird one?
Thanks again for your time.
CaliOkie
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