I. Thorn
The bell rang among crowded voices
like a flashback in my restless mind-
and I recollected memories
as my soul sank to rock bottom
like a brick in troubled water.
Beyond the chatter
there was a louder song
singing to me through my veins,
so that my heart pumped nostalgia
and regret.
The music sounded like a pulse
that pushed for you
through the soil of dream
and reality.
I thought you were the rose
in a field of sunflowers,
but it must have been the way the
light shined
because what I believed to be someone
was no one.
The moon shielded me from the sun;
an eclipse of expectation-
and the white clock
with numbered craters
cast a shadow
on the fields of fate.
II. Nova
In the darkness
there was a star in the sky
among thousands,
but there was one
with a hazel gleam in her eyes,
blue; yet her lips were all smiles-
this was you,
only in a different element.
Enchanted by the simplicity,
I fell not only into love;
but I fell into you,
who was self-centered-
and like an implosion,
you evolved into a black hole;
in which I disappeared,
then reappeared
in the field four months later.
Although light is light,
there’s a line between
blue and white;
the cyanide burned,
so I lied single
in the bed of sunflowers-
while remembering the past-
and questioning constellations
of what I did wrong.
III. Rainforest
Like a grain of sand,
I descended into the bottom half
of hell’s hourglass;
and a rose reflected
off the window panes of time-
so I remembered…you…
the rose…
and the prison shattered
as your flirtatious vines
invited me for an embrace;
but I declined,
even though you were
the reason
I had something to hope for;
and that something was
your heart,
your lips,
your voice,
your body
and your touch
that I could only dream of;
I hoped for you.
Three times you asked
for my embrace,
but I left you hanging
like vines in the jungle;
I was too afraid of what
the sunflowers would think.
This time, you were not
any rose;
you were my rainforest
that gave me oxygen,
that gave me life,
that gave me reason;
you were, and still are,
more than the
Amazon
that I cut down.
Author notes
This poem was inspired by what has happened [and is happening] in my life, and also, this part of the song "The Rose" by Bette Midler:
"It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live"
Thank you for the contest.
A contest entry
- Bette Midler - The Rose by Naridill.
450 points, ended December 26, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel it?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Amazing. You have great depth and talent. And to base this on a song to boot. I am astounded.
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you're really young for me to think you have this much talented in you...but apparently I was proven very very wrong. nice job
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Holy Shit. This piece makes me want to cry & jump for glory at the same time because of the excellent emotions that I am sure so many people have felt at one time or another.
But what is so kick-butt about that is that this is penned [majorly?] from your own experience yet you were able to make the poem so relatable.
Also, the ending is like narly stuff.
Awwwwwsome.
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Awesome
Well thought out poem. Nicely organised into the stanzas and with three sections. The metophors were beautiful and I was able to feel the emotion of the poem.
Particularly liked the part..."you evolved into a black hole; In which I dissapeared then reappeared in the field four months later." Very creative and innovative. Excellently discribes how when we first fall in love we get totally absorbed in it and leave the rest of our lives, family and friends behind. Then one day we reappear and wonder where our friends are.
Lastly a very powerful ending. One of the best I've seen.
I'll have to read more of your work.
alby
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thank you so much, that means...so much to me. I'm still not over this whole situation; well, the situation from part 3 that is...and its been well over a month now. but yeahhh thanks for the comment
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Firstly - awesome title
Lastly - I feel this & I am not letting it go. Just grasping the phrasing, the familiarity and precise wording is simply beautiful.
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Tyler, this is amazing. I loved it. I really did. Great job.
Chelsea
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fabulous. i can't even give any critique.
and as a bonus, sunflowers are my favorite lol.
but really, this poem is so...i dunno. just. yum.
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This is so profound. I can't find words to write a decent review...wow...
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