Watch your step girl I'm on to you
I've seen the havoc in what you say and do
There isn't much I haven't seen
Call it a hunch; guess it's a common theme
There's not a lot about you I do not know
And boy! I've seen how you can twist about so
There is no reason that I'm not aware
It's so crystal clear when you're here and there
And those honeyed words that trip off your tongue
I wonder too where they all come from
So much about you that's hidden deep
I can hear you mumble when you fall asleep
And it's so crystal clear like a watery grave
I can't be blessed an' I can't be saved
You're my nemesis without a doubt
You can throw your weight all about
There's not a lot about you I do not know
And boy! I've seen how you can twist about so
So watch your step girl I'm on to you
I've seen the havoc in what you say and do
There isn't much I haven't seen
Call it a hunch; guess it's a common theme
There's not a lot about you I do not know
And boy! I've seen how you can twist about so
A contest entry
- BLOW MY MIND! by Tam.
600 points, ended December 30, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 100 poems, more points to come! by katie-jo.
900 points, ended January 18, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm so
Comments
-
Wow. A very twisted Cinderella in a way. You are very talented, and the repetitive use of certain lines and stanzas are very effective in telling this story, in the impeachment of someone everyone believes to be a fairytale princess with no flaws.
Excellent work.
Thank you for entering and all the best in the contest.

Happy New Year!
~kate-flamingo -
wow...
powerful poem indeed!
great write...however...with the forty word maximum I cannot honor this with a cup but I thank you for sharing your time and talent with me!
Blessings! Tammy

-
Been a while since I've read your work, sorry about that. I don't think this flows quite as well as I've seen some of your past poems flow but I like the idea behind it. Keep up the writing.



