The exquisite dream
flutters by
on the screaming black wind
chasing down
hopes and fears within
Reflected in a silver mirror
lined with silver roses
to take off
the lace white veil
to reveal the dark truth inside
Perfectly posing
as a lady in matching gloves
proper and delicate
nothing more
but a silent whisper
She hugs the mirror tight
to her primrose flushed breast
to hide her reflection
of nothing
but a useless wisp on the wind
Lying in the wind...
Sleeping in the wind...
Fading in........
Author notes
"I will never literally watch a true diamond be born from rust..."
i know that you are looking for a classic prose poem, but my pen had a mind of it's own. i hope it is up to your standards in the contest! this is definitely a more challenging contest than what i am use to!
A contest entry
- Clear Ashes and Rusted Diamonds by Exhaled Cynn.
625 points, ended January 23, 2008, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Very pretty. The images flutter and it is a pleasure to read. Great job here.
-
I believe this is exactly what I was looking for. It is simple but so very very strong. And the beauty within it makes tears well up in my eyes. Brilliant job!
And Kudos to you for reading the contest rules!
I have reopened the contest for there were only three entries....You can not judge a contest off that! Especially with so many points involved. I thought I would inform you of that!
Good luck, dear writer! It is a beautiful piece!
Cynn
-
Very beautiful pen here once again. I dont see why you feekl intimidated in reading either my works or those of anyone elses for Dear, you clearly have some talent in you and this poem case in point that will stand up in may a contest, by which I mean you dont have to be afraid of entering it in any....as far as awards goes....that is just a matter of taste for teh most part, some friendship issues, and other factors come into play so enter away with this and all you do, as winning or not winning makes no difference for you win just by writing..and again, have faith in your talents and do like you've done here, try diferent things. Congrats on this nice pen and best wishes in this contest. I was thinking of entering but realize i stand no chance now.......
Evan
-
-
you are very sweet and kind. i humbly thank you
i wrote it kinda fast so i was afraid of it lacking, but i am rather fond of it. it is different than what i usually write.
-
-
Beautiful.
Elegant, unique.. A classic without being cliche or Trite.
Your vocabulary is excellent, and your style nice.
Great job here, and good luck in the contest my dear.
-DAnneh<3
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
