I !LIE! to myself,
a sad road to w.a..l...k....
each /s/y/l/l/a/b/l/e/ d{r}ies as I talk.
[I hurt myself more to get over you faster]
without you, I became my masochistic master.
I can't deny (I won't even try) to stop
...would surely be the >END< of me {us)...
and I only F
A
L
L
farther
as the tears s.l.o.w.l.y
D
R
O
.P
Self-inflicted (denial) /pain\ ~treachery~
{all I have left are the wounds adorning me}
:::Bitter::: they taste, words I can't e r a s e
the sadness cascades in ---droves--- down my face
So |SHUT| me up and /bleed\ me dry, never !STOP! to ask ?WHY?
This o.OwastedO.o life will >END< as it *MUST*
as my lies turn to a..s..h..e..s, my life turns to d:u:s:t
Author notes
option five-rose blood 87
A contest entry
- ~L-i-a-r~ by Ravenblood.
300 points, ended January 24, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS!!!!!!!!! AND PREWRITES!!!!!!! by Ale E.
600 points, ended March 22, 2008, 32 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty Rejects by Delete this polease.
600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 203;203;203;203;203;203;​​;​;&#& by Jaffa-.
550 points, ended December 22, 2008, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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This is absolutly amazing!!!!
I really liked this and omg great write.
Your in my finalists!!
Great write.
Well done and good luck.
Thank you for your amazing write. -
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Thanks very much!
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Nicely written, it all flowed very well and the ryhming was wonderful. =] Good luck and thank you for your entry.
x-Pretty-Odd-x <3 -
I think it was fantastic! the rhyming you've put in doesn't seem forced. Well done. Awesome talent. xo
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I think we can all find ourselves victims of trying to forget or put aside something you'd rather not know or remember, I think it's human condition.
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I'm going to be honest. This is not the best dirty pretty I have seen, granted, it's not bad, but it's not the best. But thank you for the entry.
Good Luck,
Erika
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I enjoy it just as I hate it and maybe thats just what dirty pretty is. Nice work.
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Wow I really ejoyed this piece. I do really admire those who can write diry pretty so well.
So |SHUT| me up and /bleed\ me dry, never !STOP! to ask ?WHY?
This o.OwastedO.o life will >END< as it *MUST*
as my lies turn to a..s..h..e..s, my life turns to d:u:s:t
Those lines were my favorite- It was a great way to end your poem.
Very nicely written. I wish you the best of luck in my contest. Thank you for entering.
ale xox
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Wow.. that is pretty much what i was after when i set up the contest.. thanks so much for entering. i loved it so mcuh. good luck and all...
Claire-Anne -
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Thank you very much.
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Wow
So |SHUT| me up and /bleed\ me dry, never !STOP! to ask ?WHY?
This o.OwastedO.o life will >END< as it *MUST*
as my lies turn to a..s..h..e..s, my life turns to d:u:s:t
That was great.I Loved It!
[♥]Nicotine. -
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Thanks so much!
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oh shit jeasus marry and joseph this was sooo good! wow very deep and powerful!!! great job nice flow and great truth behind it !!!
kaydee -
Ok i'm new to different poetry methods, this is dirty poetry right? I like it whatever it is, it's like drawing a picture with your words to make them stand out and have more meaning.
However, i'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to poetry, well not so much a perfectionist as pedantic, i can barely bring myself to write a poem that doesnt rhyme, it just seems incomplete, that somethings missing, and I don't think i could ever write something like this, it's just way too far from my comfort zone, and kinda seems like the new 'thing' like with chat talk and gansta speaking, so i'll stick to my styles, even tho it won't really improve my ability as a writer as much...
Anyway back to YOU! hehe. I like masochistic master line Really cool and a sad lil story..
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Yeah, it's dirty pretty. I'm still pretty new to it as well; this is my fourth one I think....and I TOTALLY understand about the whole perfectionist thing....sometimes it KILLS me to write nonrhyme, and God knows I'm a grammar Nazi. haha And yeah, it does seem more like the whole chat thing (which totally gets on my nerves), but I dunno. For some reason, I'm drawn to it. And yeah, I dunno if I'd be masochistic or sadistic because I like pain and I do hurt myself....as far as self-piercing goes, because that's what I do....but I figured that belonged somewhere in there. Okay, enough of my epic comment. Too bad you don't get points for replying, huh? lol
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This o.OwastedO.o life will >END< as it *MUST*
as my lies turn to a..s..h..e..s, my life turns to d:u:s:t
This is what the poetry is when it reflects the moods in a true way..and the heart is a true way as well..you have proved this quite succesfully..well done...
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Thank you so much!
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Beautiful ending. One thing I can suggest is in the fifth last line, put a bit more of a space between "can't" and the "e". Hah. Sorry. But brilliant piece!
Bandaid. -
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lol Yeah that does seem a bit off. And thank you!
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Yes.
Yes yes yes.
This is amazing, darling. I absolutely love it :]
shinE* -
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Thank you.
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