Young wild trees cover every inch of space.
The forest is dense, but new,
this girl isn't quite familiar with her surroundings quite yet.
But she likes the bright, green color of the leaves,
the peaceful, loud chirpings of crickets,
the livelyness of every animal that dwells within the kind woods.
She hastens her pace by will of an urge,
and begins to run ever freely,
her curly flaming red hair dancing behind her in the wind.
Her gallop is wild and full of life,
she takes twists and turns to places she's never been,
her bare feet chilly from the cold, damp gound.
Impulses drive her every step,
she's working on a natural high.
There is no better place in the entire world than here.
Deeper and deeper into the forest she runs,
the light is dimmer here.
The trees are older,
stirdier,
and yet the certain aura of carefreeness has vanished.
And just as suddenly as she started,
the girl ceases to run as she approaches a clearing.
There is nothing in front of her but a clear, sparkling pond,
and something about it doesn't seem quite right.
But she approaches it,
drawn by some magnetic force that she can't identify or explain.
She kneels on the earth, it's hard and coarse,
worn out by the small but powerful waves.
Gazing into the glittering water,
she sees herself as she never has before.
There is a certain twinkle in her bright blue eyes,
a happiness that is oh, so new.
There is a poise in her,
a confidence that she lacked not to long ago.
And, as if by magic, she sees her life as it is now,
her friends,
her family,
her passions,
her success,
just by gazing at her reflection.
She has cared for her wounds,
and their almost completely faded now.
But she has learned from her mistakes and her pain,
they have made her stronger,
wiser.
The girl sits down and gazes up at the clear, navy sky,
she's all different now,
her life is different,
her personality is different.
She is finally at peace with herself,
she's becoming someone that she actually likes.
Author notes
Mad As Rabbits
Thanks for the invite
Exams finish around the 25th of June. Regular school ends in about two weeks or something.
Looking forward to this.
A contest entry
- Tell me about you by pinkstardust13.
525 points, ended December 28, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 14 to 18 ages enter your best prewrite Judged by RedwingSpirit.
700 points, ended January 7, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Teen Idol 9: Best of the Best by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended June 10, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
let me know how you like it =]
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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137
Well this is okay - I've seen better from you. This was wordy and too dragged out. There were quite a bit of overdone images - and pointless images. They made a nice image, but only several times were the images symbolic and profound - otherwise, they were just images. In the next round, work on being more precise and concise with your execution. [Whew, big words there. haha]
You have always been good at develop detailed images - but there is an art of balance. Learn it, and you will do great.
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Excellent poem Congrats on the Gold trophy
Thank you for entering this into my contest I wish you the best of luck
Redwing Spirit
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congratulations on the gold! i am very excited to be involved in your writing career and talents. the theme of your poem is absolutely what i was looking for. you let me know a lot about yourself by using beautiful fantasy metaphors. ty for entering!
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Oh, it doesn't matter how long it was, it was all so enjoyable! I can read anything if there's mere mention of a forest, haha, and this was beautiful all the way through.
Never stop writing, you can only go further ahead.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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AWESOME''''
DEAR CAROLINE;
I THINK THIS IS EXCEPTIONALLY WONDERFUL'!! I MEAN IT..MAGNIFICO!! I LOVE THE PART, ABOUT HOW YOU FOUND YOURSELF ANEW.. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH TO BE A STORY/WRITE..I PERSONALLY 'LOVED IT'!! GOOD JOB!! EXCELLENTE'..'GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU'...LOVE, SHIRLEY ANN SHAW-RAYTOWN,MO............................
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Thank you all, so, so much!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how happy each and every one of you has made me right now!!! And to see my poem listed under the in the spot light....just wow. I feel so honored and special =] Thank you all, this was such a great early christmas present
Love Always,
Caroline -
10
You are most talented for being so young. Poem is not confusing after a read or two You do good work and have talent as a poet.
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beautiful journey
beautiful poem
well done was a gorgeous read we must all carry on caring for those wounds Kx
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this is absolutely lovely"! so full of life observation and expression. It flows as freely as the the running girl & feels full of wonder & awareness. A perfect metaphor for growing older and maturer.
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I know absolutely nothing about poetry, let alone the finer points. The imagery was good, maybe a bit overdone at some parts, if that makes sense. But good none the less. It seems to me that some of the wording is a bit awkward though.
I'd never try and knock it, because I can tell you put a good amount of effort and emotion into it. But it doesn't really suite my tastes.
Keep it up, and good luck with your future endeavors.
Ryan
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Congrats on making the front page of this site, an honor few poets get, young lady, but in that, it was a well deserved honor bestowed upon you and this work. I do so hope so many more get a chance to read this pen of yours...those who dont will be missing out on a gem,
Keep up the good work,
Evan -
The imagery here is absolutely breath-taking... I can't believe you're only 15! Never thought I'd be jealous of someone younger than me =] but you're words are so beautiful and they flow together so nicely... like the others, I was drawn in from the beginning and the length matters not... there are a few typos but it's not a HUGE deal. You truly are a very talented young woman and I'm looking forward to seeing more from you. <3
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I don't even know where to begin except to say that there is an amazing road in the literary field in front of you if you so desire to pursue it! Your ability to use words in a creative and imaginative way that draws your reader in and captures them is amazing! Congrats on a wonderful piece! Best of luck to you! Marie
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wonderful, insightful
It seems you have travelled far into your journey of self discovery. It amazes me how you are able to articulate your discoveries metaphorically. Great job. Well done
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This was a very honest and raw write. You really laid your emotions out there for all the readers to see. A wonderful job.
Soulful Woman
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Well...if you want the absolute truth, Ill give it...as I am not one to give out praise where is isnt actually due the writer..and this is absolutely beautiful...period. When I first looked at it I thought OMG this is so long, how can she expect people to read it...but I'll tell you this, once you start reading it, you cant stop. The "metaphor" as you call it was quite apparent to me as a young girl venturing out on her own, spreading her wings, exercising her newfound freedoms, easy at first but then becoming harder the deeper she goes the further out on her own she goes. This is a very very nice work and one you can now and forever be proud of. PS..sorry bout the way I started this out but couldn't resist as it seemed you expected the worst from those who read this pen...with teh exception of a few spellings and typos (check em)..this is plain wonderful,
Evan
Sheeesh..and you're only 15...uffdah. Im gonna expect a lot of good things ahead from you
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I completely agree! it is amazing! thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read her work
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Well...if she keeps penning like this Ill be back again...she's been added to my favorites list as there is a lot of talent in this young lady,
Evan
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Awww thank you!!! That really made my night!!! Hahaha at first I was like ohhh boy, but alas! As I kept reading your comment it was an exceptionally pleasent surprise!!!
Haha, Evan, you really are the best
Love Always,
Caroline
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oh, the title is awesome!
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it is definitely different but i love it! to the casual reader, it seems like a fairy tell, but i love studying your words to see behind it. i love the euphony and alliteration. i love poetic devices! and don't worry about it being long, you definitely had me captivated to the very end. i love the closure and the length if perfect! it seems like you have overcome many obstacles. not a lot of people can, but i am glad you are feeling better ty for entering!
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Oh, thank you! I'm really glad you like it!! Great contest, too!!!
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