no life in the soul
that feels nothing at all
so painfully numb
hurting more with each fall
so cold, nonexistent
or wishing to be
Ive lost who i am
Ive lost what is me
Forgot how to live
Dont know how to die
faking emotion
pretending to lie
I wish i could hate it
but that would be to feel
And that is impossible
this is horrid, but real
Someday ill feel
happiness or even pain
but the slightest emotion
would be the greatest gain
Author notes
the topic for this poem is numb...not my best, but my best attempt, if you know what i mean. hope you like it!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Yet another great write from you... you write exactly how i TRY to write, i love the cadence of this work, the rhythmic flow is just wonderful, well done. This write is so easy to read, i just adore this poem, in particular this part:
Forgot how to live
Dont know how to die
faking emotion
pretending to lie
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I like it. Sometimes waking up numb is a pain that lasts all day. Its horrible.
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I think you hit the nail on the head here. Numb is exactly the word that sums up this effort. I really liked the third stanza.
Good job!
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The first three stanzas had flawless meter... so applause just for that! :-)
I really enjoyed:
"so cold, nonexistent
or wishing to be
Ive lost who i am
Ive lost what is me"
It flowed so swimmingly... and it sounded good enough to maybe even be lyrics. The rhyming was alsonot forced at all. Great write! -
Good read
Concise, To the point and flows very smoothly
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o wow..this is really, really good. it's all very meaningful and thoughtful..and you did a great job with rhyming =]
keep writing!
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its good.
I like that same verse its so meaningful -
"Forgot how to live
Dont know how to die
faking emotion
pretending to lie"
When I read this I honestly felt like you read my mind lately. This is an amazing write. I really enjoyed it.
<33
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