my skin is empty.
flickering fireless, I wonder
if you can taste the difference –
is it painted
in the scatter of my eyes? the way
‘they’ say you can see
black holes, hollow and barren
as the night.
I don’t know that I believe
in emotions – life is
stencilled over sine waves,
as predictable as butterflies and –
(against the cliché) – just
as meaningless
a certain joy can be found
in defying expectations,
shattering them in sharp, misdirected bursts
of apathy
the problem with all this
lies in the way
flesh wrinkles and curls,
regret
layered thick on the tongue,
weighing me down
with youth
and twitching muscles.
empty,
as the gaps within Orion
(laid bare & peeled
to the bone)
A contest entry
- Smile? by Exodus.
525 points, ended January 18, 2008, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh my goodness this was perfect. Thank you so much for being one of the few people who understood what I was talking about and being able to put it to [virtual] paper so well. Just stunning.
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Wow.
I really loved "Empty, as the gaps wintin Orion"
So very creative and moving! -
Excellent, really powerful piece of writing. The imagery is very distinctive. Best of luck in the contest!
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laid bare, with surgical precision, and debridement, whether you or the they it all seem to be sometimes, there is often a darkness that is actually a shadow, not emptiness, but a shadow ... something wants to be ... powerful poetry ... thank you .... Moqui
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the ending is perfect.
the whole poem is stellar,
but the ending just really left an impact.
merry christmas.
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i love this! such an apathetic meditation on life. somewhat melancholy as well, describing the sorrows of aging. joy in apathy?
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The feeling is bleak and barren like the cold snow and ice covered lot behind my house.
You paint discontent in stinging incandescent hues of vivid blindingness.
Title is a bit of a strange choice, but I can understand it a bit, as some things are just unnatural together, yet there they are, two spliced into one.
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this hits close to home or at least my interpretation of your poem
'empty', 'regret', 'wrinkles'... yep... all that fits where i'm at perfectly.
ya know i read this five times! it gets better with each reading. you've a way with words
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you are an excellent writer
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