Our Christmas Tree is in the Living room,
by the window.
The Lights are bright and Ornamants are Right.
I love the lights shine so bright,
bulbs that glow at night.
The presents under it,
I wonder what they are inside
the little boxes of color.
I love it that we can join together with
my family. All I know and all I live is there
to be with me.
Author notes
11 yrs old! I love seeing my ffamily Members all by the tree!
In a list
A contest entry
- ccc: Cool Christmas Contest!!!! Kids 15 and under!!!! by longlife.
4500 points, ended December 25, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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me too!Great!
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awesome
Great job SEASONINGS!!!!
I like the line "I wonder what they are inside the little boxes of color"
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LOL ffamily members.( u put that in your author notes)
Cute poem! i wish you luck in the contest! -
GREAT IDEA
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I think you're goin' somewhere with the idea, but I think you didn't put a whole lotta time into this. Did you? I don't like being a critical person, but I have to ask: was this fun to write? If a poem is gonna be good, and others will want to read it, then the author has gotta write about a subject they enjoy. This sounds like you wrote it with your head, rather than your heart. I didn't find imagery in this poem, and I don't know what you were feeling . . .were you excited? Show me HOW you were excited. Use more descriptive words . . .what did the ornaments look like? When I read this, I pictured MY tree, and My decorations (and I'm sure not many people are picturing trees with a pirate decoration on it!. If you want people to see what you're trying to portray, then use more imagery. Also, keep rythym, number of syllables in a sentence, and ryhyme (if you want it) in mind. Luck to you in the contest(s).
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