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Birdwatching

Missing image
Fall is here it came with a brisk breeze,
My favorite wafting wing-ed friends dropping walnuts on frozen concrete,
Tap tat, tat,

I silently cry inside looking at the lovely creatures,
Hated and despised,
Because their song is not precious
it breaks the sugared silence, and their activity is not of our value though they need to prance and pounce and caw to survive,

Yet when I walk outside, I feel as though they do not hate me, do not long to steal away my eyes and take of the flesh of my fingers,
They caw and scurry and tell me its Autumn, not fall, pleased the nuts are ripe for the taking,
And I just sit and watch, what more can one be or so, how can such a simple colored creature talk to me, the dandelions of the air, mannequins named by their designs to make the bringers of good harvest go away, and I go outside and I sit and pray, that they stay,
 Please don’t go away,

Be my company show me the beauty of your struggle to survive, succeed; so I may see the world is not so cruel,
And frightened; as I walk out they scurry off into the trees,

Except one,
he sits and ponders  over me, watches closely and its as if he knows I am not meant to harm them or make them go away,
go away to nowhere to go,

and I sit, and sit, and watch, and hope somehow; inside; all the birds will return, to their nuts in the grass, to their meandering about doing bird things, prancing in the lush mossy green lawn, crispy maple leaves dancing in between them, and I am here,
but not alone, I have one friend here, and he watches me, and as I try to get close, to look into his pebble eyes,
he sees mine, and with a whoosh and a waft, he is above, showing me the wonder up close,

wonder…..
as I watch him flap, and aloft he glides, off into the distant trees……

Author notes

I love to watch the crows, no other bird can bring a smile in my heart, or a frown when they go away, and who elses sits and talks to me when I am alone on fall days looking at the leaves, I can't wait to get a better lens for my camera so I can get some really good birdphotographs, this is heavily cropped, but the form, well I fell in love with the form and shape of it.....
Written November 3rd, 2003

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • -Heather-
    June 22, 2005
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    D

    DUDE!that picture is kickass. it is awesome. man wow.
    love ya always oh yeah and the poem is really good aswell.
    heather lilcuz
    Edited on Jun 22 because ''.

  • ecrivain01
    December 26, 2004
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    My compliments to those who were able to read this and comment on it.

    Jim Dunlap


  • July 20, 2004
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    I loved this poem even though I had to highlight it to read it, but it was written so well keep it up Joey written from Jennette Miller


  • -Joey- silver member
    June 13, 2004
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    you caught it, it was a childhood remembrance, sometimes thats not a bad thing..... and lack of care in grammar or spelling only highlights that.

    try it sometime, see the world through a childs eye and you may well find something worth caring about...


  • kyew
    June 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    if this is an example of your poetry, I'm going to have too much fun critiquing you

    you want to keep digging it up in the boards? don't want to let it go? ok, fine. I'm all for it. I think you're gonna wish you hadn't messed with me when this is over.

    as for this... poem. the first sentence should have warned me what to expect in this but I usually give a person the benefit of the doubt and read on anyway. I'll see if I can finish this one. the first line has no punctuation and no break; not even a hyphen, to delineate between 'fall is here' and 'it came'. I've seen grammar school kids write better. put a period after 'here' or break the line there- try to make sense when you write. this is poetry, not the boards

    I do like how you used 'wafting' to describe the bird. that was nice. should be a comma after it though.

    'and their activity is not of our value' I'm thinking you were trying to say 'is not of value to us'. difficult to determine.

    'Autumn, not fall' is a sorry excuse for word play as they are exact synonyms. there's no difference between them.

    'Be my company show me the beauty of' you seem to have a penchant for running thoughts together. it doesn't work. it confuses the reader and makes your poem seem to be about third grade level or less.

    'your struggle to survive, succeed; so I may see the world is not so cruel,
    And frightened; as I walk out they scurry off into the trees,' do you just throw punctuation in wherever you want? I'd rather see no punctuation, but line breaks instead. you'd have to figure out line breaks too though as you seem clueless about them.

    'and I sit, and sit, and watch, and hope somehow; inside; all the birds will return, to their nuts in the grass, to their meandering about doing bird things, prancing in the lush mossy green lawn, crispy maple leaves dancing in between them, and I am here,
    but not alone, I have one friend here, and he watches me, and as I try to get close, to look into his pebble eyes,' if I thought of a title for one single part of your poem, I think I would name this "Butcher". everything that can be wrong with the written word is wrong with this.

    lol, stick to photography and keep your poetry to yourself. don't torture people with it.


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    February 1, 2004
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    Crows have always fascinated me.. watching them hop quizically along with that sideways glance they have.. perusing the world as if it lay in the palm of their hand. Strong...and ingenius birds that they are.. On evenings here, just as twilight is beginning to fall one can hear the crows cawing ..as hundreds of them flock together on their way to the common roosting spot they share for the night.. like black streaks across the sky they are visable for the sheer numbers of them that will fly together.... sigh.. I do so love crows...and this write I related to...as I have felt similar things.

    Beautiful as always...

    ~~whims


  • -Joey- silver member
    December 18, 2003
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    Love you too Sweetest Pea, maybe we will be Crow flies instead of Pea pods next time then we can wander about the ocean shore, instead of the wind blowing on our flowery petals fluttering us away to dreams we will flutter away on the wind and dream of being the fragrant flowers being fluttered by the wind we ride upon anywhos just reading lovely words a bit and I don't reply often, but this comment was special, but then all of yours are, I still love Sweet Peas as much as I want to be a Crow fly flying in a purple hued sky, because I suppose when one is a sweet pea, they have peas in a pod to keep em all warm and cozy, the Crows look so lonely sometimes, floating and flying with miles of air betwixt em, but well Sweet Peas, we live in our little Pea pod all warm and snuggled cozy
    Love ya very much Me Sweetest* Pea on hte other Sea,
    your jo jo


  • Maureen silver member
    November 28, 2003
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    I feel guilty now about shooing crows away. I love birds and I feed them daily. Your love for crows suggests you appreciate all the creatures of nature. I enjoyed your poem and photo, even though I don't enjoy crows! Very nicely done!

    <3 Maureen


  • Annastacia
    November 17, 2003
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    I love birds. This made me take a different look at them, the wild ones. And I wonder If my two cockatiel would be the sme if they were in the wild meandering about. Thank you for a new view.
    Anna


  • sca
    November 13, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    great

    birds are freedom - this reminds me of the freedom trhat should be available to all - poetry also represents freedom.

    i love the description and portrayal of thoughts and feelings


  • Redstormy gold member
    November 12, 2003
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    Oh wow I love this poem, yes I love watching crows and ravens fly. They do the job they have instincts to do and they do it well. Imagine all the decay this earth would have to deal with if it not for scavengers. Enjoyable read my friend.

    Red


  • Lara
    November 10, 2003
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    If only sometimes we could just become these creatures...to live and fly like they do. <3


  • fantastix silver member
    November 8, 2003
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    the picture captures the beauty of the bird and this piece. I alwys love to watch them gather in the sky making all kinds of formations. I often wish that I had a flck of people to follow me and be my family. Crows especially though are sent ere to cleanse what is dirty thus bringing about a sense of newness but it is easy to forget. Thanks for this reminder, Joe I've missed reading your sentiments and heartfelt comments. A for you!


    ~Angela


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    November 5, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    ..."Be my company show me the beauty of your struggle to survive," That is a line that STANDS out to me! Just precious. Shows such sensitivity.

    As for images, they are some of the best I've read from your work!
    Please review critically
    The prose-type length of the lines caused
    me to look twice...but the whole of it was just
    beauuuuutiful!

    I love birds too! So much, that I've got zebra finches in my home. Ten! hahaha. Plus dogs!

    Thank you for your romanticism and soft inside! You're terrific!


    Thank you for your neat comment on Bodega Bay. I'm glad you had memories of it. I don't. It was more a metaphor of the invisible status of those who aren't internationally published. Bless you this day! CookieZeal/D



  • Kalexi
    November 4, 2003
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    Joey

    Amazing write

    Very serene feel to this

    's
    Karen


  • Ava Noire silver member
    November 3, 2003
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    I like this one alot Joey. It makes me long for the carefree days of my childhood. I love watching birds but don't have much time for it anymore.


  • Morrowind
    November 3, 2003
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    Oh i am so glad you wrote about the Crows Joe They are such a misunderstood bird, i believe' they have there place in nature

    Just think' all that We never see they remove and clean up on
    the roads and highways that We as humans are to Lazy to stop and be bothered with..

    Loved how the poem begins 'The Crow is so self reliant and coy '

    Fall is here it came with a brisk breeze,
    My favorite wafting winged friends dropping walnuts on frozen concrete,
    Tap tat, tat,


    They are such a intelligent bird i just love to watch them like
    you do ... they seem to know the secret to contentment

    You know' when they ask ? what animal you would like to be reincarnated as LOL I think a crow would be the coolest

    Love this one Hon! ..One of my favorite's now of the animal poems you have wrote but Me' never forgets the Lil' Mole poem thou

    That was just the most precious!

    Wonderful Pic and background Joe!

    Saving this one!! it was such a joy to read and a Beautiful way.. to say good bye to Autumn! With one of Our feathered friends.. Made me Smile Love to You Sweet Pea' Always! ~`Mina







  • GypsyDreamer
    November 3, 2003
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    hmmm perhaps I should re-think the crow. It's always been such a menace here, trying to raise a garden and crows come and within a few hours all the tender seedings have been plucked! But... (re-reading) ok... it's called survival, and good comparison to dandelion who some consider only a weed
    Thank you for an alternate view of one of natures creatures.
    Gypsy Thoughts well taken


  • maryannde gold member
    November 3, 2003
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    My Father always pointed out the birds to me when I was a child. part of his nature walks with me to show me life. Although we have very few crows in my neck o the woods.. ( desert ) I have fallen in love with the quail and doves that scurry and fly. And when I go to the mountains..the Stella jays that always torment the other birds, were always my favorites, not to lessen my love of hummingbirds who exhaust me just to watch them soooo busy.

    Beautiful write here... made me feel a part of their lives. I have such a smile imagining them dropping walnuts to open them. Smart birds now.

    Thanks for this look... very enjoyable.
    hugs..
    Mary Ann

  • oneluckygirl
    November 3, 2003
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    Hard to read once the background image loaded but I managed to ignore the cold beauty of the lake and refocus on the words.

    Feels like making friends with the darker side of life. Beauty in the unexpected.

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