Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Bottom

Lost in these invisible folds
layers of uncommon darkness
featured silent without purpose
reality's cold water scolds

skin dwelling beneath the surface 

Swaying nooses collide with dreams
drifting towards oblivion
where rain falls so very quiet
serenity nothingness deems
as cure to broken heart disease

Currents reflect vacancy harsh
shone through to the whirpools' bottom

like clouded crystal showing flaws

life sinks slowly into foul marsh

with risen visions seeming false

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • darkangel-darksoul
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this has much curiousity to the reader. thanks for your entry


  • Whispers of Hope
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the way you write it has a depth and intensity to it! ITs a really cool style!! Good job once again!!
    ~Ocean~


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very sad write, my friend
    Most powerfully emotional; you conveyed a lot into this piece
    Wishing you the best in the contest!


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is a dark and emotional write which is really powerful and captivating. well done bro and best of luck


  • Never Fall in Love
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Swaying nooses collide with dreams
    drifting towards oblivion
    where rain falls so very quiet

    For some very unknown reason, I pictured a rope hanging as a noose the same way you'd hand a little comfy swing on the porch. Except that this noose was out in the garden above miles of grass swaying in the rain - empty though. The more horrific version of my imagination will show someone hanging in it and swinging by the mere force of the wind in a thuderstorm. AMazing how such images can arise..

    Never ♥


  • PerfectImperfection
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A sullen streaked vision of the bottom(less) side of emotion, and all that can occur within the pale. Well penned piece. Very descriptive indeed.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Such a sad and emotional write.
    Great work expressing yourself with
    this one. Good luck to you my friend!




    Jeremy0826

1 - 7 of 7