Memories of the past bring fears of tomorrow.
Shall he ever know the regret and the sorrow?
He pushed me away and left me drowning in loneliness
Yet his mistakes he'd never confess.
Moving through life with the pain still inside,
No one knows just how much I've cried.
I couldn't even begin to count the tears
Cascading through to hell with my fears.
So I paint a picture with you at start,
Let it dry then rip it apart.
Killing you, loneliness concrete.
This is one soul you could not beat.
Author notes
HIM - Killing Loneliness
A contest entry
- 5 Bands by A Lonely Soul.
950 points, ended January 3, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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amazing
you have always been talented with words Kel but this is really short and to the point yet elegant and fierce. all in all its amazing....
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a good poem, aye we have to combat loneliness otherwise it will drag us to the murky depths of life and sadness.
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not quiet sure what to say about this. I'm having trouble right now with comments. well writing in general I'm so frustrated. I liked it though.
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The only rhyme I didn't quite feel was between "loneliness" and "confess." The best transition from paragraph to paragraph came best between the second and third, so maybe take a look at the differences between the two transitions. Great write.
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Wow, I loved it! I can relate to this in the past, and I'm so glad I donn't have to face it again. You did a great job writing this piece. Thanks for entering my contest.
~~Victoria~~
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Nice.
I really liked this. I liked your use of vocabulary. The words came together well.
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