a tear down my face,
it is always the same
i come to this park
and sit on this swing
and dream of my old days...
days when i was four
swinging to forget
what was behind that door.
the wind blows through my hair
as i close my eyes
to this painful life.
i dream of years ago
before the sex and drugs,
before the razorblade...
a giggle starts
in my throat
a laugh comes from my mouth
i remember thoughs days,
but i always open them
to this.
the swing brings back
yesteryear...
A contest entry
- Swinging my life away by Starz of Heaven.
475 points, ended December 20, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
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those, not thoughs
Its a beautiful poem. I loved it until I hit the line "before the sex and drugs,/Before the razorblade" I don't think you can, or should sugarcoat anything, but...try metaphors.
they get the point across better sometimes.
Just my opinion.
~VoT
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no more
just leave me be... i will be back in A-town soon....hopefully... so no more... leave me be... if your feelings is all that you wrote down in all those messages.... then i am ruining your life and you should stay away from me... so leave me alone....
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This is another good take on the prompt indeed thank you for your entry goodluck to you in this contest best wishes and much love
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thanks
i am glad you like
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