Your body is my canvas wall,
and when I'm done you'll have it all.
I almost picked black and white but that won't do,
The colours of the pallet will suit you.
An outline of your ever beating heart,
yes-that is where I need to start.
to show your lasting love for me
I made our hearts to sync in beat.
I painted your eyes shades of Green and Gray,
knowing they woud keep the tears away;
Then I start to draw your lips,
tracing the ruby red with my fingertips.
I move them down to your neckline,
where bruises and bitemarks prove youre mine.
I begin the hands then make them complete,
They fit perfectly in mine with defeat.
And when I'm done I add in the details,
and I put my lips where my finger trails.
You're my work of art; my masterpiece,
You're prefectly done...youre now complete.
Author notes
"Please don't take me away from this place, just leave me here in my dreams... everything's perfect, I don't want to wake up, I just want to lie next to you in this bed, hear your heart beating... I need this feeling to last me forever and ever, oh God, don't let it end."-The Smashup
thisismywonderland
A contest entry
- Best Love Poetry Ever Written!!!! Give Me All of Your Passion!!! by Black Swan Rose.
350 points, ended March 28, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All about love. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended June 24, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any good?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A very sweet dedication. I enjoyed your rhyming in this and you did it very well. I liked the art reference, one that I have used myself, love is like art.. true perfection. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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My only problems have already been brought to light by AutumnsFlame and B Chandler. I do like this though. I would like to say that I do not see this the way some may have if they saw it as a write of unconditional love as I see it as one of possession. The fourth stanza is one I really thing gives this poem its unusual nature. The lines about the "bruises and bite marks" and hands fitting perfectly in yours "in defeat" really caught my attention. This is a good write, and good luck in my contest.
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Thank you for taking
the time to enter
into my contest.
I wish you the
best of luck.
RedwingSpirit
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Excellent piece you have written here congratulations on the Gold trophy. Thanks for entering into my contest and I wish you the best of luck
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Beautiful!
I painted your eyes shades of Green and Gray,
knowing they woud keep the tears away;
Then I start to draw your lips,
tracing the ruby red with my fingertips.
Beautiful lines
You did a great job! This piece is overflowibg with love. Good luck and thank you so much for entering.
I love the form presented...
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Lovely
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Opinion
First off, if you need to insert apostrophes where needed when in concerns to contractions (I'm, We'll, etc.) -
This was a pretty good poem. I really liked it! Only problem---
to show your lasting love for me
I made our hearts to sync in beat.
^^^Those lines do not rhyme and they threw me off. Other than that, I liked this. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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