Fading glows light the western skies
like hearts with dimming desires
for day has passed to fading dusk
and embers claim the blazing fires;
like hearts with dimming desires
a war with time cannot be won
for valor spent and painful gain
life adores our gifted passion
for day has passed to fading dusk
and hopes can tire on weary roads
rising night brings gentle dreams
fragile feelings ‘neath heavy loads
and embers claim the blazing fires;
while questions posed to mirrored eyes
find silent stares and cold replies
curious calm, as love slowly dies.
Author notes
Retourne:
Like so many other French forms, the Retourne is all about repetition. It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables. The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme.
In a list
A contest entry
- Pic/Quote Inspired by Soulful Woman.
1000 points, ended December 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i dont know this form but i rea;y like this poem
it was writen well
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informative and nice
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Very Cool
This is the first time I've read a piece in this form. I like the emphasis on repetition and enjoyed your poem in particular because every line seems to be held together by the repeated line from the first stanza. Thanks for introducing me to this style. -
hanks for sharing
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I am facinated by ths form but have never attempted it. I lean more towards free verse because of the freedom it allows. I have much respect for anyone who can mater any kind of form.
I have done some rictameters and Haiku's as well as Ian's mind racking form whose proper name slips my tired mind at the moment but I call it a brain strain and named my 2nd attempt at it poem with that exact name.
Anyway I digress
This is well written.
Becky
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This is beautiful, even though it finds its way gently to lament.
and, this is so well written to form that the repetition seems non-existent.
very well done.
Ken
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I love retourne. It is one of my favorite forms and you have penned so well. I enjoyed this a great deal. BEST of luck in this contest. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.
Wow. Thank you. ~Pamela 
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Beautifully written in a wonderful form. Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
Soulful Woman -
This is exquisite in form and content....but everything you write is flawless, so I am not surprized...
Another masterpiece lies in these words...
"for day has passed to fading dusk
and hopes can tire on weary roads
rising night brings gentle dreams
fragile feelings ‘neath heavy loads
and embers claim the blazing fires;
while questions posed to mirrored eyes
find silent stares and cold replies
curious calm, as love slowly dies."
Amazing
Lynda
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