Three months went by
before I realized
I had been hiding
from you
and
everyone...
so...
my heart was hurting,
my soul was crying
to be heard
by anyone...
but...
my voice was gone,
and no one saw
what was behind
my pretend smile
and the eyes
that wouldn't cry...
and...
no one knew
I was hurting,
dying inside,
my only thoughts
were of death
and denial...
please...
don't tell anyone;
I'm still hiding,
still in the closet
of depression
where only some
will understand.
A contest entry
- Write Me Pain by Broken Machine.
800 points, ended December 31, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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That is amazing work you have done here! It's been awhile since I've stopped in and read you. I'm glad to have come back and read you.
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Sis, you are one of the best there is, and knowing you, I feel it is time to take your hand and lead you from that closet to the brighter days ahead.
This write asks for just that, a hand to hold yours in time of a friendly face or voice.
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If have missed your presence on ap. I am glad to see a more recent write from you. I hope you have found your way out of the closet to the light of friendship and care.
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Very cute
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Awwww! Pattyann! I wish you would come out of the closet! I just want you to know that I hear you and want to be here to help you, just as you have been my friend and been there for me so many times in the past, I want to do the same for you, not because you have done it, but because you deserve it and you are special to me.
s
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Dear Sweet Sister,
I did not see this when you wrote it. I pray that you are well and have closed the closet door for good.
I love you!
- jo
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that a beautiful poem.
I really like sad and gracful about this poem.
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This poem holds such depth, such emotion and yes I do understand. To feel as though seperated from the world around and yet when attempted to be part of it, it is phony, false, which leads one to feel even more seperate. What a circle it makes. you did a great job of describing this. great job my friend.
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I love it. I can relate to this sooo much. I hope things get better for you. Great write.
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Good to see something new from you, it's been awhile.
I like this one and I can relate strongly, as I'm certain many can. I think the way this is written lends to the emotion at hand and it reads very well! Bravo on a great piece
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Wow I love it. I can relate a lot to it. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest. ( = -
I'm glad to see you back!
Short & very poignant. Such simple words portray a much deeper meaning, & such a sad one.
I've been there, too. I hid behind my optimism, but, oh, was I depressed. I know how it feels to need people desperately but have no one see this, no one you feel you can turn to.
I hope you are not there now, but if you are, I hope you have someone you can talk to...& if you don't my "door" is always open. Of course, it's open even if you have someone.
Beautiful. & I love the background. It fits perfectly.
~Your AP Niece
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Not much going on here
I distrust poems that use the words "heart" and "soul," and especially poems that use both. The line breaks are problematic, especially when the conjunction "and" gets a line to itself. What's that about? You might also rethink the punctuation. The overuse of ellipses also is problematic. Good luck with the revision. -
good to see a new write from you
yeah i know this all too well. the fake smiles and preferring to 'hide' so i don't have to talk to anyone. it's like i haven't the energy to be delightful company
you've said it well... unfortunately that means you've been there...
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You are not alone in the closet - it is full of ghosts and phantoms which tell you not to come out. What would happen if you did it anyway?
This is great expression, I'm happy to see your "voice".
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You need to enter into the doorway
He is here to shield you
Nurture your dishevelled head
Awaken the desperate demons
And curse them to their death
I will wait for your palms on the heath
And lay a steep coronet on their rims
Watering your beauty and your nimblest truth
The beaming hall awaits you.
(Just something I wrote in response to your piece Patty). -
This actually completely reminds me of myself. It is actually haunting how much I feel connected to this piece. Patty I have neglected to read your writing and for that I am sincerely sorry ... I don't know where I have been lately. You are fantastic. Anthony.
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No, of course I don't understand. I can only commiserate. Yeah, as with the poem, you've been silent here on AP too. And of course I'm sorry for any personal part this poem plays in your life. I'm glad to see you back, though I wish the poem had offered a more optimistic picture. I'm sorry you aren't feeling well.
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Wow. Wow. Mom, wow oh wow. This was heartwrenching. You did such a...
I do not think I have ever read a portrayal of depression truer and more poetic than this.
Beautiful, albeit sad.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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i love you. thank God you are back! i'm here if you need me Mom.
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I love you too, Sweetheart. I also love your new picture. You are such a beautiful daughter.
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