I'm gonna have to admit that I'm getting a little bit
Sick
Of being told that
Guns don't kill people
And regardless of your opinion I don't want them in my fucking house and
Quit telling me it isn't the drugs cause
Before she took that hit she was quiet as a mouse
Got straight A's and now she can't quit
Spends her days
Sucking dick for that next hit
And I don't want to hear that being lit is the only way you can
Make it through the day cause
Everybody gets raped and
I'm still clean
Anyway, is what he did any worse than your showing your kid sister what it really is to
FLY?
Cause she's watching you with wide eyes
Mind clocking your
Every move just
Waiting for the day when she too will prove to
Make me sick
Wait, wait, I have an idea let's
Get the fuck up and
Maybe find a job
Show the world that your
More than just a slob
And the next time you feel you
Need to get high just
Help her with her homework
Go ahead just try and
Show her what the
Absolute value of two
Really means
Just |Her|and |you|.
Author notes
This is for every junky out there who is just repeating the cycle. No matter who you are, someone looks up to you. So be something to look at.
Written November 2nd, 2003
A contest entry
- Society, love, philosophy, music, emotion, etc... by CrazyRebel.
456 points, ended July 1, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Some very good points. There are people who use rape as an excuse to stop living their lives. After a certain point, you just have to stop pitying people, or they'll keep pitying themselves and never do anything.
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I agree with you completely. I used to date someone that did drugs, and it was terribly painful to watch. This person was destroying their life, and there was nothing I could do about it. It drove me insane.
I especially liked this part: Just |Her|and |you|. It was creative how you related it to the "what's your anti-drug?" slogan. I think it was a great way to end it.
This was a great read. Thank you for entering my contest! -
Well, guns don't kill people, and neither do drugs. Not once have I seen a gun consciously decide to load itself and shoot some kid down. Nor have I ever known marijuana to roll itself up into a blunt, light itself on fire, jam itself into someone's mouth, and then convince them to wrap their car around a tree. But you made your point and you defended what you believe in, and that earns my respect any day, for as Voltaire said, "I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". Speak your mind!
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hmm. i like my junkie self. but this poem is good, i like the intensity, "Got straight A's and now she can't quit
Spends her days
Sucking dick for that next hit" really powerful... only thing i don't like is "house" rhyming with "mouse" and "job" with "slob" a little too simplistic. -
extremely powerful.
wow! This was didn't start off so great for me until I read it a second time, because then I knew what was happening. There was so much power in these words as well as originality a rare thing sometimes these days. I'm not normally keen on poems that use a lot of swear words, but you've managed to use them effectively without going overboard like so many people have a tendency to do. So yeah... this is something else.
Sephiroth Hi No Tenshi -
This is so aggressive and real so potent in its anger. I love it.
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damn, someone got pissed off....but it's for the best that you got it out because i know how it feels to want to scream some sense into people, it's really hard to keep back emotions, so i let them go here. at ap.
this is really great venting. i loved it alot.
-midget- -
fucking AWESOMWE vent- i'm so happy for you that you got all of this out- it was like slap in the face! i felt that!
-laura -
wow, great poem...I love your rhyming style, how you switch it up yet it continues to flow, I agree with you...if something bad happens in your life you can't just give up because someone is always depending on you, especially in this case...make something of yourself instead, great message
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"Anyway, is what he did any worse than your showing your kid sister what it really is to
FLY?
Cause she's watching you with wide eyes"
I honestly have never been ruined like this by a poem, I have lived this. I have said this to myself many times well... ok maybe not as perfectly...
The sad thing is, eventually people just ignore the words and fall in to 'FLY' with the rest...
I am in awe... the bluntness of this works too well...
thank you for sharing
~SHAY
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Your voice is very strong in this piece, which works well for it. Some of the rhyming is a bit elementary [slob, job... two, you], but it doesn't distract me. I'd like to see more imagery, but I think that might morph this poem into something entirely different.
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Great job Aurora! As always your writing has a lesson for society. I love your reading your poems and the power you put in them always packs a punch for whoever is willing to listen...many are I see. Hope all is well. Blessed be...
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My sister needs to read this lol. Great lesson that we all should notice and man, do I much agree with this. It's a persons choice to how they want to deal with things. No one says they HAVE 2 do stupid things to cope, theres plenty of other things to do. You really showed the anger at society! Keep writing my friend!
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beautiful
Guns don't kill people =)
Just kidding, Rora. Loved this one as always... actually, I liked it a little bit more. This is really great... I like the way the words flowed throughout the entire peice. Very real... I played out the story in my head as I read through it.
"And I don't want to hear that being lit is the only way you can
Make it through the day cause
Everybody gets raped and
I'm still clean"
Right there, that part is freakin' awesome. Keep em coming, I love reading your poetry. I love you girl, take care.
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great piece. strong. angry. these are the kind of poems that will scream to the world for years to come, they are the most powerful. It seems as though this come from a real time experience, and I daresay, it sounds enough to be so...
I liked the focus on what these drugs are doing to the intelligence and the other ppl around the person... too often it's only "You do this and your body will suffer" and that's all you hear...
Indeed, drugs are often a slow poison... you don't know your hooked til it's too late...
stay clean,
it's the best way to be,
Regards,
Boris -
WHOA pal chill out. i can see that psople suck in general. but lol wow .some one must have pissed you off good. hmm well i dont know what your problem is but im gonna assume some on you know is being a asswhipe. well this is a good poem well written actionpacked with emotion. it was a wonderful read. really enjoyed!!
keep on penin it keeps me coming back.
poe -
oooh you like it so much you had to promote it eh? hehe i agree cuz this is a moving piece...hannah nailed it so i have no need to repeat her
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Wow!! KInda mindblowing beat-esque poetry. A lot of strong images and messages here and I agree with a lot of it. This is a harsh yet cautionary tale and you did it with aplomb.
Nice work!!
Nate -
Earth, i've read your stuff before and im wondering why im not always reading it.. maybe i should huh? I think That i should.. woohoo you have another fan.
I really liked this poem especialy because it reminded me of one of my friends, almost like you wrote it to him..hmm odd. But I really did enjoy it though I can't really think of what to say. nice flow even though it got odd at places physically is sounded great! Happy writings.
IS -
Powerful.. society angst at the beginning, at the end just a really good lesson.
keep it up, you have a poweful voice..
i loved it.
~Hannah~
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