Can you hear them?
Am I mad?
Are you?
Gently rapping,
so softly on my mind.
Whispers in the wind.
Haunting from the inside.
Should I run?
Am I scared?
Are you?
Growing louder,
they coax and they call.
Caresses of forgotten times.
They break me and I fall.
Can you find me?
Am I lost?
Are you?
Loudly knocking,
so noisily at the door.
Screams in the hallway.
Pleading like never before.
Author notes
Obviously the title "Whispers from the Past"
I hope you like it!
A contest entry
- rockerchkpoet's DFI Rounds Contest ~~~ Round 1 - Dress to Impress by And Hyetal.
600 points, ended January 17, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Color me Morbid by Never Fall in Love.
390 points, ended January 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From December 2007 by amaranthine lover.
800 points, ended January 11, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I actually had done the very same title and I think you did well in expressing the title. Nice job thanks for entering
-
You leave many things, especially the ending to the imagination of the reader, and that is a good thing to say the least. However, I do think that you could add a tad bit more detail. We have screams, rapping of the mind, knocking on the door, etc etc. It's good to keep it vague but normally in those cases you make things clear in the end; perhaps a surprising ending or a full explanation in the last stanza.
Never ♥ -
This is a nice poem and an interesting interprettation of the title. There isn't much description, but the reader could adequately picture things. You had nice sound imagery.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Always,
Cassie
-
Love it!
I love the cadence of your short lines which somehow manage to have a "softness" to them which other succinct lines of poetry do not. Enjoyed reading this poem. I really like "caresses of forgotten times/they break me and I fall". Good work.
Adding your comment:
