Pauper of college lack,
there is squeamish of my
literary success
smelling rainbow book covers
splashed with alien faces,
squinty-eyed mentors
in Aigner coats
prefaced with the roster
of diplomas.
cross-country free birds
with glass paperweights on their
frequent scribbles-
journals of leopard-watching,
stalking gorillas in groves of death;
notorious hosts adored by Yalies
opulent Northwest socialites-
a sprinkle of black-nailed groupies
here and around the Bohemian sink,
Plathists who rave for more-
and sighing, I lose my
place in the sky-scraping deck
of their credits,
sense displacement like an
inner child with ugly clothes
and lip blisters on picture day.
wondering if the sash on my coat reveals
the label of middle-class dismay
a misfit toy on Bodega Bay
floating in ashy waters and foamy moss,
hidden in puddles of sand and stone-
this lonely author whose buoyant float
is seen by few,
undue by the mass of popular identity,
despite my tattooed thumbs
and grass stains on denim knees.
Author notes
See what happens when you inflame me
to a bookstore? Oh, what to do with my inky fingers!
Written November 2nd, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- No Title: Just Come Have a Look by I-Am-Custard.
900 points, ended July 5, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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As I said before, I like this alot, this is remarkably well written, has a great deal of layering which makes it complex, but not impossible and is in general very well done. Thank you for entering.
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Lush, gorgeous, a tasty treat for my eyes and intellect. Oh the ending has so much charm. I wonder about those thumb tattoos.
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Wow Cookie! My brain is a bit twisted after reading all that layered imagery and understanding the depth in meaning. My poetic grasp is lacking in a big way lately ad I wish to find more poems like thisto sharpen myself back up again. This just reminds me that even when I feel out of place there is a place for me right here amongst wonderful poets like you!A BIG
for you!
~angela -
dearest auntie... this was outrageous, you fit everything into this write and didnt make it one ounce hard to swallow, rather pleasurable actually, much like some barely rare steak and a baked potatoe... ill stop
this is undoubtedly going into my favorites, and believe me, it is VERY hard to enter that nearly empty cavern! this has the power to make one cry, but the gentle touch of perfection to keep the tears within the reader. your work never ceases to amaze me, and always puts a smile on my face. thank you
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I will modify my critique and say that the unusual syntax is distracting. For instance-- "Pauper of college lack"--the first instinct is to wonder "lack what"?; yes, I know, lack is a noun in this phrase, but the noun is usually used with a preposition (a lack of). Another sentence was "there is squeamish of my literary success". Then you go with the present participle "smelling rainbow book covers"-- it just comes of as very disjointed. Maybe you like that, but it just makes it harder to reader, and I don't see the advantage in it.
I originally thought this poem was about you reading *of* those kinds of authors. I didn't know it was taking place in a bookstore. Anyhoo. -
its a small fishing town in Northern California silly
just south of the redwoods but for some reason I think I missed the point of the alliteration because I was like heyyyy I have been there before LOL but I couldn't remeber if twas in Alaska or Caifornia and when I looked it brought back a lot of memories of trips up and down the coast, solo, 1200 mile drives in one sitting when I was still able to drive 20 hours straight with ease a few years back ( actually about 15 years but well my birthday is tomorrow and I don't wanna feel any older than I am already feeling 
a lot of memories were awoke in simply the name of the town you chose, and then I got into this complex and me ohhh myyy Cooie, why sad and alienated feeling? this isn't you : no you are a "part" of this world, you are an important part, a gift to all of us from God, wonderfully talented, and well just know you are an important part of so many of our worlds, so no more feeling alien no there is love left in this world, and respect for God and goodness, emotions that are good and wholesome aimed squarely at you, and you are very much a part well that was my take, and as far as mechanics, well it was impeccably written in my view, it was very swirled and mixed, like a rich and wonderfully mixed hmmmmmm I love sub sandwiches, yeah a sub sandwich haaaa made ya smile didn't I well it was very well written, I loved the intensity, but was a little saddened if in fact I was right aboutte alienated feeling, so just know you are loved by plenty here, and OC you know Jesus loves you dearly as well but then that just goes without saying I think with you lovely write Cookie very much enjoyed ,
warm regards and Jesus's love as filtered through me to you ,
sincerely,
joe -
Oh wow, I really like that. Great piece! I mean, it really captures one of the big problems of being a writer in modern America. Stuck between the socialite yuppies and the Bohemians, how does the middle class writer fit it. That was awesome!
BTW, thanks for your comments on my pieces. I tried to hit the reply function, but it didn't work. Lol. Just part of life I guess. You said you wanted to feature one on the Showboard thing. That's fine with me. Thanks. s
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The description of the 'bookstore types' is spot on, as was the immediate reflection inward ... I've been to so many things where my lack of 'black nails' or the right accent immediately positions me at a self-defined angle to those who 'belong'. It is an irony that the so-called 'artistic' or 'avant-guard' are often more confined to binary definition systems than those they would like to 'label' middle class, or common-by-birth-not-choice (their left-wing protestations teeter out under silent resentment when they realise my London accent isn't fake like theirs- that I am interacting without their patronage ... yet inside, along with my defiance, is a sense of seperation and sometimes even shame).
A wonderfully concise summary of a feeling it is so hard to sum up. -
Excellent poem by a quality writer
Amazing and wonderful write, Di. Many of us do not have a wall full of literary diplomas. However, God gives each of us gifts and talents. Expecting us to use and develop them. Those that try with a sincere heart, I truly believe that they succeed. One must remember the definition of success means many things to many people. In my opinion, success is living life the best way we know how with our current knowledge and skills. Endeavor to respond to God's call on our lives. Touch the hearts of others as we walk out our destiny. I really like the parchment paper used. Gives an old world affect for the poem. Gotta go, bed time. I have to ask? Does your body and mind ever rest? God Bless You and the family,
Thanks 4 listening the other day. Really helped me a lot.
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Goss...thank you, but..??
I don't see the grammatical errors- I teach it, so I must know where they are!! LOL.
Thank you for anyone who'll point them out. -
Freedom without the concept of slavery is useless. No concept of slavery...no concept of freedom. What good is bad without the good to compare it to? In my opinion, what Satan despises the most, is the idea that all bad is transformed beyond evil intent. There is ONE who has ALL power///may they find Him now. Our inroads come from idemtification...SELF-idemtification he who has ears to hear, let him hear...when the student is ready, the teacher appears). For me, this poem illustrates life on lifes' terms and spiritual progress (not spiritual perfection of humanity today). But then, this is just what I got out of this write. Good luck. If you make the circuit, I want a signed copy...Peace & Love. Tim-o-t
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Story of my LIFE!!! This is me:
I lose my
place in the sky-scraping deck
of their credits,
sense displacement like an
inner child with ugly clothes
and lip blisters on picture day.
I read of other authors, and I feel the same way.
I have to say that the grammatical errors in the poem do distract me. I think it could use more editing, but the core is there. Nice poem. I rarely read anything truly original on this site, and this is really original, really AUTHENTIC. -
Yes. The form was on purpose this time. If you've ever read any of my works, you'd see that I proportion them on purpose. This however, has a contemporary flair unlike the rest. They have a real fit in the remaining conclusions. Thank you for noticing!
Warmly, CookieZeal -
cool piece! very interesting, with a sad undertone. i noticed the first few stanzas were shorter than the last few. was that done on purpose? just curious. blessed be.
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Thank you dahhhhhhhhlink! I'm sure I had your quality standards in mind, however cryptic. You always get my work..you always get anyone's, it seems! sigh. What a gift to the observation!! Blessings, CookieZeal/D
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Dearest Dianne
What a fine example of your refined writings!
The title "But Where is Bodega Bay?" immediately touched me because of its poetic beauty (alliteration) and almost rethorical philosophic wryness ...
Bodega Bay is within the heart of every one of us ... whether we are educated Maestro's or paupers, somewhere inside, the
"inner child with ugly clothes
and lip blisters on picture day" (excellent, excellent!)
lingers ...
Notwithstanding
"the label of middle-class dismay" and
"the grass stains
on (my) denim knees",
you are amongst those who are alienated on book covers and by content ... because in the end we all write our BOOK, read post mortem as PREFACE to Eternity ...
I loved the way in which you place yourself within displacement ...
You, dearest Dianne, are one of the most pleasurable "books" I am reading right now ... With the voice of an angel
Warmest Regards,
Myra
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