i lost my rainbow a day ago
Or was it maybe two
i only know that since Your gone
The sky's no longer blue
The suns quite dim since You are gone
And clouds no longer puffy
A darkness fell across my heart
And the air all seems so stuffy
The birds don't sing like they used too
And flowers all have wilted
Is this the way that life becomes
For those who have been jilted?
A dimly lit corroded day
Of faded grays and blacks
Without a single vibrant color
To bring my rainbow back
So how do i crawl out of bed
And face the dreary world
When all the hues have drained away
And left this lonely girl
A girl so sad so all alone
That even while she's lost
She counts the pennies in her heart
And shudders at the cost
The price to pay for opening up
To a man so cold as ice
A pirate in the sea of love
Through my heart His sword does slice
And as the life pours out my soul
i look toward the sky
And see no color left at all
As i proceed to die
Author notes
Prompt #2
dark cajun shadow
A contest entry
- Broken by JustAnotherIdoit.
450 points, ended December 21, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Just so sad and lonely,it must have felt good once you read this back to yourself,because its good.
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Thank You for taking the time to leave a comment. i am so glad You liked it!
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please, please, please tell me that there is no truth to this write my friend *worried*
ps. congrats on the gold
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Oh my sweet friend, there is no truth, only the thought of a slave girl learning to let her imagination go. But thank You so much for Your kind and caring heart! i love have a friend such as You!!! Glad to see You are back! i missed You!
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oh my...this is such a sad poem full of sincere emotions of lost love...I loved its simplicity and its natural flow...the last stanza was so beautiful that it left my heart so hopelessly in love...
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Thank you so much, i am glad you enjoyed it.
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Don't die. Love is still alive and kicking and you would never discover this six feet under. You capture well the spell created by abandoning yourself to love. The metaphors are tight and succint. You only for one stanza stoop to purple prose and this makes the whole piece be very dramatic. Well done.
Love,Tom B.
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Thank You Sir, i am glad You enjoyed it...but when You have time i would appreciate Your explaining to me about "purple Prose"
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wow.
it flows and is a great write.
love the rainbow metephore!
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this is amazing. i hate the background (no offence johnny, you are beautiful (lol) ) but the poem was great. thank you soooooooo much!
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Thank You so much for taking the time to comment on this...i am not sure where it came from, but my fingers could not seem to move fast enough when i was writing it. Thank you again, i am glad You enjoyed it.
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no problemn. its a good poem.
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