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At The Will Of Society's Ribbons

Missing image

Society's expectations dangle from my arms,
These impure ribbons maneuver my body
To the flawed perfection which hangs upon my wall.

Mistaken transcendence fuels my insanity.

At the will of society's ribbons, I become nothing.

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Selfportrait - Dance Me
~ myownself (deviantart)

35 words

In a list

What do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Icarus Lives
    May 16

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    Mistaken transcendence fuels my insanity.

    At the will of society's ribbons, I become nothing

    These lines REALLY resound with me. So philosophical.


  • Sacred Geometry
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh a puppet for soceity, sometimes i feel that way as im a completely different person round other people. and their expectations hang you down and cause you to become somebody else


  • Xxnightmare21xx
    March 2

    Edit | Reply
    So true. thank you for entering my contest. its greatly appreciated. Its a little short for my liking, but it was good.

    Your Judge

    kaycee


  • DecorusApparatus
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    I could leave you a longwinded comment of praise for this poem but there's just one thing I really want to say:

    Brilliant.

    --Stardust xx


  • Ms Raneika
    January 28
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    wow I'm impress. nice choice of words and very truthful. Thanks for entering!

    Love, Raneika


  • Ms Raneika
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    wow I'm impress. nice choice of words and very truthful. Thanks for entering!

    Love, Raneika


  • PhoenixFaith
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Short, sweet and to the point. A very interesting picture that you chose to write on. This is a very interesting piece to go along with that picture. And I like it, it is different than the rest of the pieces that I have read in this contest. Very nicely done, and good luck in my contest.

    Always write from the heart
    Never give up
    Kate


  • marciakay81
    May 27, 2008

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    this is very good...i'm not sure if it was your intension but i pictured a marionette. what an incredible metaphor.


  • eveningthought
    December 19, 2007

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    Amen, sister! I love it. the images are really different from what we usually see in poems, you know flowers, mirrors, rain etc. It's short but it says so much!


  • Naridill gold member
    December 19, 2007

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    'At the will of society's ribbons, I become nothing.'

    Beautiful metaphor. Such awesome phrasing and very indepth wording. You have gifted the image such a honest mouth and life.

    Thanks for entering.
    Much luck.


  • MysticalRayne
    December 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is abeautiful take on the prompt - very well written good luck

1 - 12 of 12