A lost collection of thoughts
Through the mind of a madman
May desicrate all the pride
And the power left within her soul
The untold secrets from winters past
Haunt the memory and make an untranquil day
An evening gown drenched in lies
Faulteres the most flattering
And the lonesome cry of the girl who was
Dies within the silence of "no one cares"
Roses lay at her feet
They lay there no longer alive
"Roses are red?"
No
The roses are dead
The lost collection of thoughs
Through the mind of a madman
Is all that she has left
And the distant memories of what where
Left by the one who doesn't care
Along with the roses of dead
A contest entry
- Color me Morbid by Never Fall in Love.
390 points, ended January 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I have to admit that this seems to be rather cliché take on the title to me. The storyline you chose to go along with Roses are dead is pretty good - lonesome person who lives in the grave. I just feel that you need to put more emotion into this and be more original. I'd also advise the repetition at the bottom to be removed as it serves as an irritation rather than an added effect. Cut down on unnecessary words as well..
Never ♥ -
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madman..
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you? I know.
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Nice...
I would say this is very Dark and Morbid
Good luck to you in the contest.
All the best,
~T.S~
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