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miss me

vanished slowly

eyes straining

around corner

heels tapping

arms flapping

hair in disarray

under a wheel

Author notes

Where did she go?
16 words
Options Contest: My Best Friend was hit by a drunk driver

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • ThisIsMyWonderland
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very powerful. But to be honest, with this subject I wasn't looking for a prewritten poem or something to be submitted in other contest, it was persional, like the poem shuld be. That deffinetley wont take off any points or anything, it was just a advisory.

    The short lines leaving me gasping every word, wonderful job!! This is the kind of subject where imagry thru phrasing would be too much. Your way was perfect. Wonderful job!!

    Thanks for entering!!


  • Naridill
    December 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Simple and stunning. You have grasped a powerful prompt and released it beautifully.

    Thanks for entering.
    Sorry you won’t be included in
    judging for failure to follow word count.

    • carole21
      December 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      sorry

      I miscounted somehow . . should be 16 . . I'll correct it . . thanks for counting!

  • Gott ist tot
    December 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful piece, it seemed like she died to me. I like how your work focuses on imagery, as it did well here. Good luck.
    Thanks for your comment