Dancing is making love
standing up
moving slowly
in rhythm and time.
It begins with just eyes and smiles
little breaths that quicken
then move to hand and hands
on shoulder and waist
perhaps an accidental touch
of thighs
in movement to music
and time...
continues with another smile
a blush
emotions mount
a swing and a twirl
a giggle and a smile
hips move and sway
feelings spread
hither and yon
a mutual
coming together
full body contact
known and acknowledged
exploited
by both...
breast against chest
thigh between thighs
and sighs...
and gentle sways
and face in neck
and grasping hands...
and a raising of lips...
and the music ends...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very True
I was actually thinking of someone while I was reading this. I find that what the poem says is very true because I've had sex with him and it was insanely great, yet nothing compares to the passion I feel when dancing with him. The way he twirls me then pulls me back with a gentle crash into him, and that smile he flashes when I look into his eyes and flutter my own....sometimes making love has absolutely nothing to do with sex, and that's why I completely loved this poem. Not to mention how vividly it brought back a moment that I always miss.
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Expressive!
Been away awhile - missed this one - loved it. Have always believed that dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
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i think i need to dance more!!!!
Hot hot hot
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so much hope in these lines so many unspoken emotions are hinted at and even defined. tantalized the senses.. i can hear the slow steady beat and feel my hips swaying. i love this piece for its almost simplicity and also for the beautiful subject that you expressed so elequently
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Oh, I enjoyed this poem a great deal, indeed, written like a waltz...very well and deftly done! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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short, soft, sweet, like a good woman
Straight to the point, without Dilly-Dallying around, this would look decent on a personalized Greeting Card. :-)
OK, Strengths are weaknesses: the lack of subtlety is both refreshingly clear and quickly brings the point home; but then the piece lacks the mystical mysteries that are so often bound to the movement of two bodies together in dance: that magical menagerie of words following alongside the physical epherealism.
To example (as instructed) -Lines like "and face in neck" and "full body contact" are quite blunt, almost like a word brick, and this detracts a little from the feel.
Improve? hmmm... maybe finding deeper descriptions for some of the blunted words like "in" -could use things like "cradled in" or some type of imagery... but then there goes that bluntness... hmmm...
. Rewarded 8
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makes you wish the music never had to end. the pulse of the bass, the rhythmic sway... tis hard not to fall in love with anyone you dance with. a beautiful piece... keep that ink on flowing,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx
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