...and June wed my blue eyes
to his shiny red mustang
as my sixteen year old heart
crushed into his candy apple chariot
and sweet puppy
love
our only destination was bulletproof
sweltering heat, humidity and him
fermented into moonshine madness
that blurred the edges of me
as a midnight buffet for mosquitos
too drunk to drive gravity after drinking
from the wasted well of watermelon wine
that was I
rising with high noon
to nap in my bikini and hangover
burning time and sunshine
while July worshiped my Cherokee
drawing lines upon pale Irish sands
that begged to be crossed
caution was a four letter word
tore up from the floor up kids
in the rich cotton fields of Alabama
where summer as a spoiled child
equaled wild
and Panama Jack slick
tan
I loved his laughter
melting me like Hershey’s kisses
in buff bucket leather seats
smoldering
and steamed windows
married my name to his
in sweaty childish scribbles
when 4 ever smelled like coconut
and wicked weed
before the dog days of August
barked beware
sobering his smile
he was smart enough to know
that fall would soon fail
us
but I was too young
to understand
that September would breathe
a cooler sun
whispering goodbye
to cut off levis
fireflies
and
him
A contest entry
- Summer by sheltered.
525 points, ended January 1, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memory Lane Again by Judith Chandler.
525 points, ended December 27, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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To start off
I love anything that begins succesfully
with the word "and".
"crushed" great choice.
The third stanza has some awesome alliteration... personally I would have said "that I was" because it sounds smoother to me.
Third stanza kicks.
Forth stanza...
great internal rhyme times two.
Fifth stanza: Good simile and even better weed.
Great alliteration in the final but somehow I think "him" just didn't have that punch that I was expecting... Maybe you could give me a smack upside the head er something?
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~SMACK~
of my sweet lips to yours my pretty cowboy...
~SMACK~ and another for good luck
~SMACK~ cause I wanted too baby...
xoxoxoxo -
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Geeze, I picked your poem apart and still got kisses. lol
No wonder I love you. -
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well...you said give you a smack...er something...LOL...so I gave you my kind of smack baby...SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK of my lips...on yours...again...
xoxooxxox
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ooopsy forgot these
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WOW, Oh wow. this was simply amazing. So wonderfully expressive. It is so beautiful like a movie that is being played for inside my mind. Congrats on the silver this deserving write shines with.
Mouser -
Oh my! I got all goose pimples through my body while reading this beautiful work...so very descriptive and laced with imagery...was almost like watching a play. Excellent penning, you have much talent and this work shows that very well. Congratulations on the silver. Simply beautiful.
Shaz xx
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This is well written and full of details that place it in that eventful and vivid decade, the 60s. Granted my take on that decade is rather subjective.
Thank you for entering. -
Totally awesomeness!!!!
You brought back so many memories with this. Well thought out and flowed down the page like water running off of a slick suntan oiled body emerging from cool streams and hot love.
WOW!!!
I am going back to read this again girl
so many memories emerge!!!
Lots of clappy dudes!!!
Becky
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Well Tammy I'm blown away again!! When will I stop being amazed by your excellent ability to write something so fantastic, from an old memory? uh...never!!!
I never got to experience young summer love..I got married at sixteen, by my moms urging lol. I was kinda sheltered back then
But this is the sweetest poem girl!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
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this is awesome....so amazingly well thought out..I love the Hershey kisses melting.. why is there 'summer love' and why does it sometimes have to end in September..sigh..excellent poem..
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Sis,
How wonderfully beautiful...I remember this days as they were yesterday. Why is it always summer love for young boys and fairy tales of forever for us (at the time). Of course we sobber up to reality as soon as school was back in. Summer was days of freedom, too much drinking, tans and fast cars. It was a different world and I miss it.
You have penned it to prefection as always.
What a amazing write of young love, life and truth.
Your beautiful muse never fails you.
Best always!
Love
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fantastic as always pretty lady,
i've quit trying to find fitting comments for your work
there just are'nt words to fit your ability to amaze
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Oh wow!! The imagery in this piece was simply wonderful Tammy!!! Best wishes in the contest. Love you, Cathy
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This is the most perfect tale of young love and loss with such a wonderful array of metaphor that I found myself immersed in it. Just brilliant. Love, C
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