Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

This Is My Anger

If you're going to crack,
break.
And if you're going to break,
crumble.

If you're going to fall,
don't get back up.
And since you can't get back up,
crawl.

If you're going to stay,
don't leave.
But if you're just going to leave,
don't dare come back.

If you're going to squeeze,
crush.
And if you're going to crush,
disintegrate.

If you're going to think,
feel.
If you're going to feel,
feel pain.

If you're going to laugh,
cry.
And if you're going to cry,
show yourself.

If you're going to think about me,
fly.
And if you're going to fly,
it better be with me.

If you're going to die,
do it right.
If you pull that trigger,
make it count.

If you're going to let her love you,
go.
And since you're probably going to go,
forget me.

If you're going to get mad
get angry.
and if you're going to get angry,
hate.

But if you're going to love me,
love me.
And if you're going to love me,
it's only me.

Author notes

Option 2

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ^^ awww

    I love this ever so much. It is hateful, angry and yet solemn. You've got a wonderful piece with a great flow. The way it's pieced together is simply to die for. It's a very intelligent way of saying "GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER", no doubt.

    Thank you and goodluck.


  • A-Daisy-Among-Roses
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love the style and rythme you got going here. Its a very nice piece of work.


  • Dienush
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This makes me think a lot.

  • Virgoan
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like the thoughts of this. simple yet very thought provoking. the first stanza is the one i like the most.

    thanks for sharing and keep writing.

    HENSLEY


  • RunningFree
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well Put

    This poem shows raw emotion in a simple formulaic manner that works really well. I think that it was a little long for me. I think I would have liked about 3/4ths of what you wrote, but I think that is a matter of preference. Some of it seemed to just fill space and not have good impact. After a little bit, it got to be too much for me. Maybe that is my short attention span.

    However, sticking with it really paid off in the end. The whole poem depicts how little control a person really has in another actions and emotions when in a relationship. At times this can be a HUGE source of anger and frustration. In the end, the last lines were the most powerful and really showed the meaning of what you were saying in the beginning and throughout. It takes back the control over what your line is and focuses on what you really need from another person.


  • over the rainbow--x
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow.

    okie, this was so simple. But perfect,
    && I'm thinking about it, && you haev to be a finalist [=

    It's just struck something in me. it's amazing.

    Thanks for entering, good luck in my contest [=
    ♥


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a strong piece, and I really like the structure you used, but I felt that it should have ended after the stanza: "
    If you're going to die,
    do it right.
    If you pull that trigger,
    make it count."

    because you had already stated what you needed to state and the rest of the piece is just filler to fill up dead air space, but all in all, not a bad read actually.

  • Fallen-one-forever
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Pimpin if u will!

    I love this one really Mwah! I love the way it flows to smoothly. and you're right if your gonna love me . Love me! Not me and everyone else with in f**king distance. great write must read more of your work. later-Jaden


  • passim silver member
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a new style and I love it. Very original. A superb poem. Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The last stanza speaks truths, you can't love more than one person (or at least not in that way). It's heartfelt and true. I love the layout of the piece and the way you went about the order of the emotions. I think this one is very treasurable, because it's from the heart, where poetry is supposed to come from.


  • Jeb
    January 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my contest and good luck to you!

1 - 11 of 11