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Gilded Deception

In smoky chamber filled with stench I am bane.
Maiden pale with shadow ghouls of poisoned ether,
imprisoned souls of torment, still breaths in vain,
unwilling guards of treasure bound by leather.

Deceitful wings of golden glitter and silk gown,
gilded lead, cheapest imitation, illusion,
which blinds the drunken eye, but fades at down.
I'm the one to spill in greedy minds confusion.

Homunculus am I, soulless being without heart,
wicked apparition of constructed fairness,
a hungry demon summoned to play this part,
to riches not mine queen, a mortal goddess.

You have wandered in my forbidden domain,
so cast a final glance in the mirror.
Bones with scythe. Have you guessed my name?
I want to give you my kiss, come nearer.   

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Swan song gold member
    December 22, 2007
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    Excellent! Nothing more needs to be said. Just flat excellent!!!!!


  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    December 20, 2007

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    DayDreamMuse
    A brilliant take on the picture prompt. In my opinion, this was the most intersesting, yet, most difficult to write for in my Alchemy Gothic series. You have help to inspire me to respong more to these images. I love the pics but would have a hard time writing for them, which is why I chose this contest.

    The brilliant poets here at AP as taught me much. These piece is no exception and is a great entry in the contest I wish you the best of luck.


    I love the last stanza the most....


    "You have wandered in my forbidden domain,
    so cast a final glance in the mirror.
    Bones with scythe. Have you guessed my name?
    I want to give you my kiss, come nearer."

    Many blessings,
    Happy Holidays,


    ~David~


    • DayDreamMuse
      December 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the great comment! I am happy that I managed to take a new look at the prompt and satisfy the judge. I also planed on entering all the other contests, but somehow I missed them all. I hope you start new ones.

  • xTomorrowx
    December 18, 2007

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    Wow, I read this, and I was like yeah, it's pretty good, it flowed well and all the normal stuff, then I saw the picture, and I realised how awesomely this poem fitted the picture, you did an awesome job with the description, I really like this...
    Awesome job, good luck to you in the contest.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, you seem to know this artwork intimately.
    Each detail rendered in poetic verse as stanza by
    stanza, the darkness unfolds. Absolutely vivid showcase of gilded death. Blue

    PS-I think you want "breathe" in the third line
    as you are referencing a plural in souls.


    • DayDreamMuse
      December 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the comment Blue! I actually wrote this while I was at school, when I was away from the picture. I sure missed some details, but most of it I got right.

      As for "breaths" this is the plural form of the noun "breath". It's not a verb here.

1 - 6 of 6