I slipped right in on whispered feet.
I barely breathed for fear I'd wake
the sleeping boy upon the bed
of blankets that I'd helped him make.
I stood there for a moment, froze
my hands to keep from reaching out
and stroking back the dampened hair
that lay above his silent pout.
And all the blood inside my veins
began to ache with secret sighs
of love not yet allowed to sing
but kept behind my tired eyes.
He shifted in his sleep and snored,
and I just could not help but grin
and send a prayer towards who-knows-where
in fervent gratitude for him.
But now the sleeping boy has gone
and I am left alone, and gray,
alone to close my eyes and sigh
upon the bed where my love lay.
A contest entry
- Do What You Want by Bull3t2b1n0ry.
650 points, ended April 4, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me Feel something Real by BearWoman.
1050 points, ended April 11, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Probably not at all what you intended--after having just come from reading something with sexual content, this made me fear an impending sexual assault on a boy ("And all the blood inside my veins / began to ache with secret sighs / of love not yet allowed to sing"). *shivers coldly* As a result, it was hard for me at the end, thinking of where that boy went, and why.
Yet looking at the piece from another angle, I see a caregiver's love for their charge, or the bond of lovers (although as a mature female, right now the word "boy" in that context is very hard for me to read).
Excellent poem! Thanks for sharing this.
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wow..thats what i call a good write..
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wow..thats what i call a good write..
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wow..thats what i call a good write..
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wow..thats what i call a good write..
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Sensitively heartfelt and sad.
You do not say the 'boy' is your son but this seems to be the most immediate impression?
No matter; between such love found and given thanks for, and the loved ones presence being removed is painful to hold.
I hope that you can take comfort in the love still remembered, knowing it is a truth in your own heart independent of any other.
All the best to you
Sol
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this is amazing I loved it I read it three times thanks for entering my contest good luck
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wow, didn't expect the ending, leaves it open to the readers imagination on what may have happened to the boy, but I think we get it
very touching. Any parent like myself would fine this amazing, I understand the moment.... where you go to peak in on your child as they are sleeping, and that peaceful feeling you get watching them sleep, makes you want to touch them, stroke their hair...
WONDERFUL poem
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