They’ve come:
the changeling children,
feet wrapped up
in what their parents
wanted them to be
in the misty hours
before they were born
in a sheath of red sky.
Those hilly stomachs
have always held
the mysteries of the faeries
deep within the green womb,
the way a mother
expects one thing
and discovers another –
Oberon must laugh
to know we blame him
for our tepid loss of
imagination.
Author notes
Please read critically - it's a strange conceit.
A contest entry
- What Dreams May Come .... With Nurse Chilly by Cat.
2000 points, ended December 30, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Speak your mind.
Comments
-
My fellow judge has said it all.. I think this piece would read much better with some line breaks and that would allow the reader to pause and take in the storyline..
I love love love the hilly stomach and Oberon too.. cleverly thought out.. some real good places in this
well done and many thanks for entering this contest
G.x -
some wonderful images
the changeling children, the hilly stomachs, the blame placed on oberon- would love to see the piece explored even more- whether in a series or inside this piece
if this were my poem i would open the presentation up so that the story pops a bit more..
also- i would eliminate the word up L-3
good to find this here..
m
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