.
Many moonbeams joyfully danced on her soft supple skin,
pale mottled images fluttering, from toes petite to chin,
inflamed passion lay latent until the view shown before
eager to relish rewards of her body and to then explore.
I reached and stroked the skin soft silky smooth to touch,
never was deep love so truly felt or passion of this much.
As I marvelled at the eager hardness intent upon release,
flaring flames intensified and emotion began to increase.
She turned on to her back and gave a happy caring smile,
as I lay back contented to admire her beauty for the while.
The night was young and serene, joyful hours were ahead,
as we whispered sweet endearments on the king size bed.
Entranced I gazed as moonlight, gave her skin a rosy glow
and the dance quickened as a breeze began to gently blow,
the curtain lace was rising, flapping high in a rhythmic beat,
while I kissed her exquisite ankles and dainty delicate feet.
I placed my fingers between those pert thrusting breasts,
twin quivering waves on a sea of delicious pointed crests
and traced a line around them to that valley down below
and found it was a pure heart shape around a cute torso.
My fingers followed fitfully on the path of silky creamy skin,
a maestro’s baton of harmony conceived deep down within
and played a symphony during its’ refrain until the very end,
to dizzy heights of ecstasy from the music my fingers send.
.
A contest entry
- Show me what you see outside your window. by copypastedelete.
300 points, ended April 4, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Human beauty is often unthrifty ~ up to 28 lines. #70 by Lyndon.
2000 points, ended April 22, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Constant Gardner~A Dedication to Wounded Lovers by Blue Rew.
808 points, ended August 26, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
-
Awesome job! Your words painted such a lovely mental image! Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing this beautiful piece!
-
Very sensual. I like how you use such descriptions to paint this scene in your poem.
-
-
Thanks Harlequin Dance for your comments and glad you enjoyed it.
-
-
Quite tantalizing in its observations
and the rhyme gives it a certain playfulness.
I do request you add which quote applies in
your author's notes. I'm very interested as
the theme is meant to revolve around love and
hurt due to loving. Blue -
This is a beautifully sensual poem, bordering on the edge of the adult category, but, I don't think it quite hits the mark for the contest prompt.
Thank you for your entry and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
-
wow
very nice. good luck in the contest.
-
Passion of Body
This piece was vividly mastered and really put me in the moment... positive write for the female body, and good expression of passionate lust that can be one of the favorable fruits of love. Thank you for entering my contest!!
- - riah - -
-
Absolutely Amazing!!
You have captured the thrill and excitement, the passion and anticipation, the love and the lust masterfully without the verses ever seeming to be sleazy. Beautiful poetry, and I hope to read more of your writings soon. A good style of writing and composition too!! Full applause for this one. Take care and God Bless.
-
Wow...you penned a very romantic, sensual poem here...this is a romance between two lovers.Tasteful and lovely feelings... Your words painted such a beautiful place, a place where love is shared...
I liked the way you used the sensual imagination here...
Beautiful write dear poet
I hope your life is filled with nights like this
XXJeannette
-
Beautifully and tastefully done, truly makes something beautiful and meaningful from something that can be made tacky. I enjyoed this very much
-
Beautifully done and I do admire the rhyming ability of this one. It takes your mind deep into the images to where you really forget it rhymes until looking back. well done.
-
...you've got me blushing here!
-
She turned on to her back and gave a happy caring smile,
as I lay back contented to admire her beauty for the while.
Barry...you smoothtalker, you!
This is wonderful.
I love the simplicity of emotion, the sincerity..the joy of just being...
Nice to see your name up there, I haven't seen it in awhile. A always, you leave me with the feeling that I remember what it was like to be cherished...nice effect.
Take care,
Jin
-
Sweetly erotic, intense and thoughtful, "a maestro's baton...." a delightful touch that heralds completion so very well. Thanks so much for sharing.
-
stunning and sensual. send me a man like this lol.
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
Sorry, but you did not enter what the contest is asking for.
-
you didn't force your rhyming, it came naturally. i love that.
it was a bit to sexual for my tastes...
not quite tastefully sexy either. but good, good.
-
Nice poem ...
but the contest rules say no sex, no erotica. There are numerous contests on this site where you can enter this. Good luck with those.
Merry Xmas in any event.
-
Simply said, this is a very compex and elegant write that I enjoyed very much! Wonderfully written with fantastic visuals and flawless flow! Great job on this one BrudderBaz!
-
Entranced I gazed as moonlight, gave her skin a rosy glow
and the dance quickened as a breeze began to gently blow,
the curtain lace was rising, flapping high in a rhythmic beat,
while I kissed her exquisite ankles and dainty delicate feet.
This stanza really stuck out with me, it's very nicely written. Thank you for sharing this with us all. -
Prettily worded. I like the title too.
-
It has great rythm, the flow was easy, and the rhyme subtle enough not to seem forced. I think the rhyme structure is somewhat rigid and tends to make the rhyme more noticable with each continuing stanza. Since this is only a "casual" review I will only suggest maybe staggering the lines that end with a rhyme in one or more stanza. Alternating even one would, seem to me, make the structure more appealing. I am NOT taking anything away from the poem itself... it is solid, and very eloquent. Only other suggestion would be to try to find end rhymes with more than only one or two consonants. Again, it only an opinion/suggestion, to try to give enough complexity to keep even the most skeptic of critics from not making it past the first or second stanza.
until exhale,
homewrecker -
ermm...yes then .. well this is very beautiful ..(blushing)
A fantastic sensual write..
bravo..
Peace and many blessings
~A~
-
A beautiful write that is so full of love and tenderness felt.
Each of your stanze are truly emotional
Thank you for sharing your beautiful moment
Julie -
This is beautiful
loved the continous imagery in this piece, lovely write by you, and I am so happy to have shared such an experience with yout talent. Great job.
Ephiphany
-
a one sided love afair perhaps?
nice rythm and ryhme but lacks duality for me.
-
I love this! I LOVE IT!!!!!!! its amazingly writen.
-
Amazing
This is one of the best reads I've had in a long time, and certainly one of the best damn poems I've ever read on this site.
When reading it, you took me straight back to some of the private times, that never seem all that important untill after the event. Right then, I was laying there with my partner, who unfortunately is miles away from me at the moment, and for the few short minutes that I was reading this, I was back with her and happy. Its just a shame it had to finish.
Thankyou. -
This is beautiful, friend. It's sensual, erotic and you still managed to pen it in a sweet, romantic, poetic way that has maintained the reflection of beautiful prose.
"a maestro’s baton of harmony conceived deep down within"
and "Many moonbeams joyfully danced on her soft supple skin,
pale mottled images fluttering, from toes petite to chin"
those are some great lines that really stand out to me. You put the words together so effortlessly. It really illustrates to the reader how sex is the deep connection between lovers. Beautifully written and well done! -
Excellent!
So expressive that it is impossible to miss the minute implications. Love is such a complex feeling. The line that has impressed me the most is "never was deep love so truly felt or passion of this much". We could just hope that such moments last forever. But life has its own way of bringing all kinds of surprises for us, and we just move from to one level of experience to another. Congrats for this profound piece, and best regards!
-
This just blew me away my friend
Such a master piece of words. fantastic piece of art. I loved it so much. You still havent lost your touch. Much love my friend LISA
-
Holy Shit! WOW! i love it, that is... omg i dont even know what to say! it blows me away! g'job!
-
Wow!
let me just catch my breath.... -
You have described a beautiful, sensual connection between two people. It was a loving testimony to feelings of love. Great job.
Soulful Woman
-
Good
Adding your comment:
1 - 35 of 35
